Meanwhile, this year will be even more colorful.. I have got Aimee; my very lovely, cute, & sweet baby (going to 4th month on this 19th °\(^▿^)/° ), I’ve resumed my work in GI with a ‘new position’ (more responsibilities), and of course, my beloved hubby will always be at my side (love you so much) and I believe the Lord will do even greater work in my family’s life (my parent’s salvation n’ other yet unanswered prayers to come), plus more of heart changing experiences and teachings everyday will be given by my precious Teacher..

On my last 29th birthday and this New Year, I only prayed a simple prayer,
“I desire to be a wife, mother, and daughter who’s pleasing God’s heart”
I realize those three main roles in my life aren’t a coincidence.. God destined those for me.. At such this time and place…

Dear God,
Please guide me for the rest of this year,
I believe You’ll do even greater miracles in my life and in others whom I love,
Draw me closer to You, Lord
Reveal to me things that I don’t understand nor see before,
May the word of my mouth and the meditation of my heart pleasing You,
I love You Lord, and I love even more the way You love me and teach me to love others…
In Jesus’ name, Amen

Jeremiah 33:3

God bless you all

Thank God for This Family

“First Role of a Wife”

“All the married ladies! All the married ladies! All the married ladies! All the married ladies! Now put your hands up! Wo o o, wo o o o, wo o o o o” Singing to the tunes of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” hahaha…

Well, only an intermezzo before I share this one with you. This time what I share is more exclusively to married ladies (but of course single ladies are still welcomed to equip themselves from now on)

There is a saying that “behind every great man is an even greater woman”. For me this statement does not merely present prominent pride for the woman, but also (and most importantly), an inherent meaning of how both man and woman is designated for being supportive toward one and another.
Of course I am very proud being considered as the ‘main subject’ when my husband once complimented me with this saying, but after I take some time to ponder on, my husband is equally important to be considered as the main subject also.
As God’s words in Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NIV) says, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor”, the writer also agrees that the main important subject is neither the man nor the woman, but both of them.
For me, the above saying shows how man and woman (husband and wife) stand together in unity to bring out the best from one and another. No one is more conspicuous than the other; each one has a designated role from God, and when both of them are able to fulfill each of their purpose within a family, a wonderful marriage with Christ as the Head will be established as the result.

From many of my roles as a wife, recently God reminds me once again of the most prominent one, to be the Prayer Tower of this family.

This reminder relates with my recent experience (our current struggle and dilemma) which below I’m going to share with you.
It’s been more than two months my hubby often come home very late from work ever since he works in banking (when I say ‘very late’, it is VERY LATE. Think that finishing work at 9 pm has already overworked? Well, most of days my husband go home at 12 am and even later than that (the record hit at 3.30 am!:( )
This is completely a new experience for both of us. He never had overworked that much (crazy, sick, much!) and I also never had to wait for him until that late (crazy, sick, late!) Even though now I have had Aimee, I admit I still feel alone sometimes without my husband, and how I wish to spend quality time with him and Aimee together more often. Whenever he’s able to go home early is like winning a door prize for me.

During the time of waiting, I often get furious and annoyed. My resentment will go double because I know nothing I can do to change the situation. Complaining and getting angry will even make me more stress. I question God ‘why did He give him this job’ and when I’m caught in desperation I’d say to my husband “just quit and find another job!” However, deep in my heart, I also know this job is for him and it is not his time yet to change his workplace. My spirit discerns there is something more that God wants us to learn from our current situation.
So, nothing I can do much especially when God seems to say, “Carry on, you’ll see nothing will go in vain” I can only OBEY and hold on to His promise and beautiful plan for me and my husband.

One day (on 1st November, to be exact, that day when “the record of 3.30 am” was hit), I couldn’t contain myself anymore. I spat my hatred about his job and his boss at 4 am to my husband and saying “I had no hope to begin a new day tomorrow because I couldn’t bear to have another moment of waiting” (me in my dramatic mood-this is not good). Surprisingly my husband’s response is, “Honey, don’t say that because it will only bring me down. Just be patient. There is time for everything”

The morning after, Holy Spirit reminded me of how my words as a wife have great power for my husband! Proverbs 25:11 says, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver” and Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”
Every words that are spoken by our tongue has a very significant impact toward people around us, especially people who are closest to us!

I could hear Holy Spirit’s still voice in my heart saying, “Step on faith and leap higher to be more like Christ” (‘Berpijaklah pada imanmu, melompat lebih tinggi agar menjadi semakin sama dengan Yesus’)
Faith is my stepping stone in doing all things that go align with God’s will, without faith I can do nothing while with faith, everything that I do can mean something!
Faith can move God’s heart, faith can do anything beyond our dreams! FAITH is the start to be prayer tower for my family!
It doesn’t require any complicated things. I don’t have to be a ‘super wife’ first to support my husband in prayer.

Now I become more understand why a husband’s role generally is defined as ‘priest’ while a wife’s is as ‘the prayer tower’. It doesn’t mean husbands don’t have to pray (part of a priest’s duty is of course to pray as well). My husband always pray for me and Aimee, he specifically lay his hand on me and our baby and bless us individually. Yet, I still feel the responsibility to pray for each and every detail by large goes on me, and I don’t mind. God has a gift for every woman to generally have a more sensitive heart compared with men. Women tend to care for details, is much more a planner and a visionary. I realize these are God’s unique gifts for women and we have to utilize it well whenever we pray for our family!
Our prayer can be a lot more specific, in details, and using our faith we can visualize God’s dreams and wills in our life to speak prophetic words into many other people’s life (including for our husband and kids).

With prayer I support my husband in ‘backstage’; with action he leads this family in ‘front stage’. All these based on faith. We do this hand-in-hand and all these make us a team, God’s team!

So, I really thank God for this revelation which has changed the way I react now if my husband comes late from work (although like I said, I’ll be very very happy like winning a jackpot if he’s tango )

To summarize, returning to the saying I quote earlier “Behind every great man is an even greater woman”? For me, “Behind every great man and woman, there is an even greater God”

May God bless each one of your relationships in Him

CrunchyNat©; Inspired by Holy Spirit; Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

“Cherish the Present”

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Ecclesiastes 7:10
“Do not say, why was it that the former days were better than these? For you do not ask wisely in regard to this”

The above verse took me to the heart as I read it from my morning devotional. Whenever I face difficult times here in Indo, I’ve always looked to my former days in Melbourne. Not only specifically on that term but whenever I face changes which take me out of my comfort zone, I always ‘dream of’ my former days!

For example, when I see my present family veracity, I always wanted to go back to my childhood where all members of family still enjoyed having the company of each other (Sunday was our family day, long long time ago). One of my favorite childhood memories is when we used to go to Pizza Hut, ordering many pans of large pizzas just to get the Smurfs collectable (we finally collected them all, even including the play set. Playing with those Smurfs with my own scenario was one of my favorite activities when I was a kid hihi). I loved the ‘spirit and unity’ in us, we managed to stuff those pizzas into our tummy as much as we could (and I didn’t care for counting the calories back then haha). Another loveable memory is, we always visited our grandma (from mom’s side) every Sunday at Kebayoran (her old house before she moved to Pondok Indah with family of mom’s younger brother) and there were these two ‘abang-abang’ selling meatballs soup and ‘Kembang Tahu’ (soft texture of tofu mixed with ginger) who always came over there too. Meatballs and Kembang Tahu became our must menu every Sunday morning at grandma’s house. Then we usually went also to Lippomal Karawaci afterwards, three of us (me and my brothers) loved to play at the arcade (they had mini rollercoaster and adventurous playground). Other thing I still can remember from my ‘childhood treasure box’ is, when ‘Bodyguard’ (played by Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston) and ‘Sister Act’ (how could anyone not knowing of this movie? Hehe..) were played at same time in Glodok Plaza cinema (this used to be our favorite hangout place. Now even the place has become a history), mom and dad urged all the kids to watch the Sister Act instead and not following them because Bodyguard is an ‘adult movie’.. hahaha.. Well, those memories are only a few I could remember (I kinda having short term memory, that’s why I love to write in my blog or journal about what’s happening whenever I have chance) and I love to replay them in my mind, in my own way.

What I didn’t realize is, as the devotional writes, those memories are usually only that special in our own mind. We set ourselves in nostalgic mood for situations that didn’t actually exist. We may remember our childhood or other life phase as ‘perfect’ when it actually wasn’t. Flaws might still have happened, but still we’d rather choose to go back to our past simply because we don’t like our present.
Thing that usually brings us to look back to our past or wish to hurriedly go to our future is change. It is human to dislike change most of the times. We tend to think even though the world change, it won’t change us or people whom we love. The truth is, we change, they change. Only God doesn’t.

Ecclesiastes 7:14 (NIV) says, “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future”

So, if we cannot turn back our time to the past and at the same time unable to know what lays ahead in our future, what’s left is only the present. This may cause distress to some people. But for all believers, God has promised us “peace which passes all understanding that shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

I can gain peace by accepting I cannot turn back the time and giving thank for the memories.
I can gain peace by surrendering to God whatever happens in the future will only bring me good (Romans 8:28).
I can gain peace by enjoying every seconds of my present, commit to cherish every moment, whether it’s joyful or tearful.

That is the lesson of today. Enjoy our present as much as we can, because we never know one day we may miss it and think that it is simply perfect. Then there is no place left for regret.

Aimee’s 2-days Old

The waiting’s over! Hello the real motherhood! (I say ‘real’ because the motherhood itself has actually begun since my baby’s in my womb) hehe..

First entry of my blog as a real mom!!
My lovely daughter, AIMEE GRACE HENDRAWAN, was born on 19 SEPTEMBER 2011, 8.20 am (Jakarta’s time), weight 2.71kgs, length 47cm

For now, I just post the pic of cute Aimee two-days old (next Wednesday she’ll be one month old!), and more stories of my ups and downs as a newly mom to follow, so.. Stay tune to Aimee’s mom blog! Hihihi

God’s very faithful!

God bless our little family

Yesterday I experienced a ‘hormon chaos’, that’s what I myself refer to as I didn’t quite understand myself… All day long I felt so easy to cry, gloomy, unmotivated, bored… Well, there was something happened that triggered the tears but I shouldn’t cry as much as yesterday because it was just over something trivial… And by the end of the day I cried again on my hubby’s shoulder, telling how I felt like a kid to her dad.. Thank you so much honey for being understanding yesterday..

I’m entering my almost-40-weeks-pregnancy now! I thought my turn would be on week 38 too, same like my cousin’s wife, my highschool friend, and two of my church friends (yes August & September are crowded months! Hahaha) and I’m getting bored of people asking ‘When’s your turn? Is it not yet?? When? When??’ I feel I wanna shout ‘I also don’t knowwwwww!!’(۳ ˘̶̀,˘̶́ )۳ hahaha.. Sorry friends, I know you all asked that out of caring heart, but I myself have been kinda impatient too!!! Hihihi… If the baby’s here all my friends will be made sure to see my ongoing updated status and profile picture in my Blackberry, Facebook & Twitter!

Well, this is another lesson to trust on God’s timing… I & my hubby have prayed for the baby to be born on His perfect timing. Because I want to give birth naturally, all I can do is ‘wait, watch & pray’. Another thing is, we’ve been praying for the baby to be born on weekend, just so my hubby can take me to the hospital (noone else if God’s willing, although my mom will be on guard too), I so want him to be beside me during the process, from the beginning until the delivery…

Listening ‘tips’ from my friends&relatives who have given birth naturally are very helpful, so does with reading first-year-baby guiding book, I feel God is helping me preparing my heart just like what I asked Him to. I thought I would be ready should the baby arrived at week 38, and when turned out she didn’t, I have to be patient in my waiting, and unexpectedly I become more prepared each day. Although I become impatient sometimes, I am reminded it is my own prayer for the baby to arrive at HIS time…

Another thing is, my hubby’s new job is so demanding… This whole week he’s been working overtime (one til midnight 12 o’clock! The earliest he came home so far was 9.30 pm… I feel I wanna cry!!!)
Especially tonight, we had planned to have a nice dinner together thinking he could go home at ‘normal working hours’ then his boss asked him to stay because there’s still work to do :’( so not fun hiks… I miss our quality time… I keep thinking if the baby’s here a lot of things will change and I have to be able to adapt to the new situation, responsibilities, and roles… Can I manage it……?

This week my patience is really tested… And every now and then I failed
Lord, please forgive me if my response in action & words have not pleased You… I know these are all to work more the fruit of joy and patience of Holy Spirit in my life, but sometimes it’s hard for me to ‘pass the test’… I’m sorry, Lord…

I am indeed excited to welcome this wonderful gift from God! Yet I have to admit my heart is troubled with anxieties now… Uncertainty with what I will face too, becoming a mother…

Dear Lord, please help me by the power of Your Holy Spirit to change, to be more like Your Son… Thank You for Your grace and love, for always welcoming my weaknesses without complaining, for understanding me and my deepest thoughts and dilemmas, for helping me to change to the better… I don’t know what I can do if I don’t have You alongside me… I can only say thank You God…

⌣»̶·̵̭̌✽✽✽·̵̭̌«̶⌣
Your daughter

Anyway, this morning when I wake up and meditate upon His words, God brought my mind to remember all the goodness He’s done for the last couple of months.. God has delivered us from our problems and have given us ‘more room to breathe’ now.. Really praise Him! I remember there were two occassions in which I could really feel God’s deliverance.. They are really God’s miracles for both of us.. Just in time. Although I wished it could come earlier, when God’s time arrived eventually it IS just perfect & beautiful..

Another thing I’d like to share with you now,
I love musics..In many hard phases in my life so far, specific songs always be a remark in the end when finally I got through the difficult times by God’s grace… For example, for the last couple of months, Pak Niko’s CD “Mukjizat Masih Ada” really encouraged me a lot to keep going through the challenges. Honestly, God has used the songs to strenghten me & my hubby. Those are simple songs sung with no complicated vocal note. However, it’s proven – for a song to have a strong anointing power, it doesn’t really depend on the vocal, musical arrangements, or deliberate keynote. Sure they are all important, but a song that is “simply nice” or “anointed” is just different – your heart and spirit can tell, more than what your ears could enjoy.
And I praise God how He has used one CD to bless me a lot
I suggest to really choose right whatever music you listen to, because just like what the Bible says, ‘Faith comes from hearing, hearing the word of God’.

Well, that is for now. I’m counting days to come for my delivery (my cousin’s whose due date was only two weeks away from mine have given birth to a wonderful baby boy yesterday!). Meaning I have to be ready soon!
Please Lord, I need Your grace to endure all the labor process… I need Your presence to be there with me. Give me Your divine peace & comfort. In Jesus’ name.
Thank You so much Lord

Praise You, Lord.. For many wonderful works You have done in my life to this date..
Today is also my hubby’s first day at his new workplace.. Bless him abundantly with Your divine wisdom & joy while he works, Your protection and favor will always surround him..

Thank You so much God, help us to be faithful towards You alone.
Love You Jesus.