~Taken from my Facebook Note~
R.I.P. My Dearest Friend, Renaldo Djojo (05/12/1981-06/03/2010)
It feels weird for me… Before I start writing this note, I was browsing through my older photo albums to find pictures where Renal was also there, because I believe there is plenty… and I am right… One by one with every pictures I can recall the moments captured by the photos… Now I become more convinced that I do not regret at all the fact that I like to take photographs whether for fun or for the sake of documenting a moment…
I can easily recall all the good memories as I’m seeing pictures of my friends where Renal was also in there… I also saw some pics from Friendster! After years not opening it now I have the reason to… For memory of the friendship… and for all of us in the pictures to also recall the sweet memories, once again…
Now I try to make this note not too long… for the people I tag in this note you have clearly known what happened to him… for those who accidentaly reading this note and don’t have any idea at all who Renal is and what happened to him, he’s my close friend (once in Melb too then went for good to Jakarta), a crazy, funny, like-to-bully guy, always late yet ‘a faithful driver’ (he often drove me home even late at midnight), a very carefree man whom I never really had heart-to-heart sharing in “an appropriate manner” (kl udah masuk curhat session tetep aja bahasanya ngasal… so typical of him).. Surely I & him weren’t the ‘best friend ever’, but we were close and we often hung out together (with the rest of other bullying guys)… Again, we weren’t the best friend ever yet it was surely always fun to hang out with him…
On afternoon March 6 I received a phone call from a friend who was also very shocked with the news of his sudden death, both of us really thought (and hoped…) it wasn’t true and some sick people just made a bad joke… But it is not… Renal was found dead in the morning of March 6th 2010 on his bed… Hours before he just spent his night at Java Jazz Fest and recently just gone back from his trip in Singapore, a trip that I believe really uplifted his faith in Jesus to a stronger level, it’s a prayer convocation, not just a holiday, where he received God’s heavy anointing…
It wasn’t a good night for him… It was a good-bye…..
With his death (I still feel so weird writing that word… ‘death’..), God has used it to open my eyes to many challenging truth… This is the first time ever for me to have my close friend died… Whenever my mind’s brought back again to the truth the Renal who has just died not only ‘Renal’ but ‘Renal, my friend, whom I totally know!’ really makes my heart hurt…! I am sure everyone esp those who were tagged feel the same in the big pic… This fact surely hits us hard…
I totally realize (although the fact is actually already right out there) when I die I won’t bring a single thing! Not even my beloved gadgets (say, my BB which I really treasure), not any single clothes, bags, shoes, accessories, books bla bla bla….. NOT A THING! When God calls me I will be just “PUFFF!”, my breathe’s taken, I’m gone…! If I’m lucky I’d have chance to say goodbye to my loved ones, if not then, well… what they will remember is my last words I spoke to them, last activites we spend together, and what about if the words and deeds aren’t a good one…..? No other chance to say sorry and mend it…
I’ve just realized what it means to “live every single day to the fullest”, “live the day as if it was your last”, “love your neighbour as you love yourselves”….
I’ve just realized even my dreams and my passions in the Lord will mean nothing! All’s left is the fruits!
I remember in Winter Camp 2007 Renal got prophesied by Diane Manusama that he’d be a preacher… I was excited to hear that and continued to tease him for some time because he kept saying ‘no it won’t happen’ and that he didn’t want to be a preacher anyway… Now we see that Renal is not a preacher who stands on the pulpit… But what’s left is the fruits and the seeds for every God’s words he sowed wherever he was!
If my dream is to be a writer and to be God’s evangelist, and when I die I still not publish any single book – what can I do? I cannot demand from God ‘why don’t You let my dream be made true?’
Dreams for things in the world even desires in God will be vanished. YET Dream to be forever with Jesus one day will not, IF I keep holding on to my saving faith by God’s grace……. If I die that dream, that passion ,even be made true..!
Also, with problems. Problems are momentary only. Now I get a much better understanding of that famous Christian saying, ” focus on God, He’s much bigger than your problem”!
When I die the problems will be gone, anyway. They will not reach me where I will be. This doesn’t teach me to be careless in handling my problems, but to focus on God’s strength which will enable me to go pass it through with the best solution if I follow His ways and not rely on my own understanding! Problems aren’t an end of everything, they are just tools for our faith to be strecthed to a new capacity!
Relationships – these are also momentary. Hard, cold fact: one day our loved ones will not be on this earth anymore (that’s the ‘soft words’ because truly I don’t like the other word – “dead”)… Ecclesiastes says there is time for everything… It is so true…
Last night I was terrified with fear of losing my loved ones, I cried in tears… Yet I know that is not the main message that God wanted to give me…
God never put unhealthy fear in our life! Through this He reminds me to treasure every people He has put in my life, in my surroundings!
Cherish every moment… Treasure every opportunity for being able to spend time together…
Fights are totally unnecessary! I’ve realized how selfish and childish I was when I got into fights with my bf, for example… when on the other side I could always speak and sort out the matter in a more gentle and respective manner…
Every fight, anger, disputes, and hatred are totally insignificant…
Dreams, Problems, Relationships will all pass away… They are NOT the unbreakable one… Only God’s Kingdom and His words that aren’t breakable…
“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverance and godly fear” ~ Hebrews 12:28~
“All flesh is as grass,
and all the glory of man as the flower of the grass.
The grass withers, and its flower falls away.
But the word of the Lord endures forever” ~ 1 Peter 1:24-25~
So will I hold on tight to things that I know one day I will lose it? Will they serve to be my idols in this world, or let God alone be in the highest place in my heart?
That is my desire for the Holy Spirit and God’s grace to help me, to say NO I won’t hold them too tight, I want to live my life and love His blessings wisely (not taking them for granted, not forsaking them, yet not treating them as idols), and let Jesus serves the highest place in my life… Without ability from Him I will not be able to finish my race of faith in victory, I am really convicted with this truth…
This feels weird, but I have to thank God through Renal’s death I, we, have learnt some valuable lessons about life…I can see life from a changed perspective… And I truly hope will bring me a changed life… The lessons cost dearly indeed, our beloved friend…
BUT guess what… this evening when I spend time with God in Menado (prayer meeting at church), Holy Spirit said these words to me, that I will serve as a closing to my note……
“If through Renal’d death you can see life differently now, how much more through JESUS’ DEATH your life should be transformed…!!!“
This very wowed me!!!!
If Renal’s death can grab my heart so deeply, how much more Jesus’!!!!!
I’ll leave this note as it is…. I will not elaborate more…
Don’t forget Renal and the life lessons he has taught us through his death, forget the pain of losing him…
Remember always living a new, transformed life through Jesus’ death AND ressurection…!!!
We will all miss you Nal… Enjoy eternity in God’s presence!!! Til’ we listen to your jokes again when we shall meet in heaven…. :’)
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