Happy Birthday Sweet Pea :)

‘Sweet Peas’ is a long-term nickname I’ve been using to call my dearest cousins (there are two of them). We didn’t remember since when we become so close, we only know we’ve become good friends and sisters since we were all teenagers (high schoolers ). We’re all familiar with each other’s ‘history’ (especially in terms of relationships haha..)
Time flies fast, now I and the other one (Lucy) have got married happily, while the other (Jill) is currently single after going through a (very) long relationship but it ended badly last year. There we were to support her and keep praying for her to find her ‘anointed man’ soon, be patient girl

After Lucy got married, I become closer to Jill (since we are still living in the same neighbourhood while Lucy has moved to the South), and through our Blackberry Group ‘Sweet Peas’, we still keep in touch with how everyone’s going.

Jill’s family especially, has become a great blessing for me. Her funny parents and two older brothers always add warmness to each of our gathering. I think Jill is very much blessed to have a kind of family like that. Her parents have become like my ‘second parents’, they were the first to know about my pregnancy, and also the one who visited me at midnight after I went home from hospital last month (due to a very high acid in my tummy I had to be infused with three packs of the liquid medicines) huhu..

I often compare them with my own parents & family and how I wish my family could be the same, with the same warmness and togetherness, yet I appreciate the reality that every people is different and have rights to choose their own actions (although many times they hurt me).

Anyway, here I post a picture of our little gathering last Tuesday at Grand Mahakam, for the occassion of Jill’s 26th birthday
The lady next to my left is Jill’s sis-in-law and she’s pregnant too (only 3 weeks apart, her due comes first) \(`▽´)/

Nice Little Gathering @ Grand Mahakam

Thank God for this second family and for every members within
God bless you abundantly as you have blessed me generously, amen.

Journey on a Boat “Part 3″ – Final

I was vacuum for a while from writing this blog, I was out to Hongkong & China for 10 days trip with my big family (when I say ‘big’, it included my grandpa, aunties, uncle, nephew, cousins ) then was very busy sorting out things for the wedding and apartment’s renovation *pheewww! All I can say is, GOD IS SO GOOD! He’s been pouring  out His abundant mercy and grace unto me, I am so grateful for His deliverance, comfort, and divine solution in my problem!

After got disappointed with Him some time ago, I was inclined to write my journey of low times recently into 3-series of ”Journey on A Boat” (Click here to read Journey on a Boat ‘Part 2′ and Journey on a Boat ‘Part 1′). Now I’ve come to several points of conclusion based on this experience:

1. As I wrote in ‘Part 2′, I’ve admitted that getting out of a boat is a must for my faith to grow. Many things I will miss if I don’t dare myself to get out from my boat (my comfort zone). At the end of my life, I don’t want to have regret, to keep asking ‘what ifs’ without really trying. At the end of my life, all those ‘what ifs’ become ‘might have beens’. What might have been if I had trusted God? I have to learn to discern between ‘faith’ or ‘foolishness’ (doing something big without serious thinking). I have to keep my relationship with Him to be strong to discern between the two, and when it turns out to be ‘faith’, I have to draw out the courage from the Source-get out of my boat and walk on water.

2. I think I have overcome the ‘denial’ stage. I wished my life could be free from problems (small problems that I know I can handle are allowable, but not a mountain-sized problem where I’d be powerless-no thanks). Yet, He delights when I am powerless. What? Is He a mean God? Not at all! Here is where I have received a revelation from Holy Spirit days ago. I was blaming God for my mountain-size problem, I was disappointed. But then after weeks gone by, not only I can witness God’s mighty deliverance over my problem, I’ve also let myself to be humbled by finally admitting that mountain-size problem is necessary in my life!

Some time ago I was holding my pride too high. I said to God I hated to be forced to go out from my boat, I hated to face the storm and raging wind, I was deeply scared. I might resent God as well because of the storm that I had to endure!

But see, God’s mercy and favour have humbled me eventually. I have come out from my cave (like Elijah who was once frightened to death by the threat of Jezebel – 1 Kings 19), I ate my pride and finally agreed with God, that yes, problems are necessary for my faith growth.

Kept rejecting to eat vegie because it didn’t taste nice, finally a 9-years old girl ate her pride and start to swallow the bitter melon full of vitamin C given by her mom – that girl represents me.

Only God is able to do this. Only God is able to soften my heart and let me see His love. Opening my eyes to see that He never, n.e.v.e.r, have harmful intention to me and my life. All He have for me is His love.

3. Holy Spirit opened my eyes last Sunday, that God wants His church, including me, to be strong.

A loving father must want his children to be fit, healthy, and strong. No good father wants his children to be weak and sick! Just the same with God the Father in Heaven toward us as His beloved Children. But He allows me to be weak, very weak, so that  I can feel His power in my life even more! This is like what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10,

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weaknesses’. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong“

Now I not only understand these verses by my head, I understand by heart – I’ve experienced that statement of Paul “When I am weak, then I am strong”. Praise God!

4. I understand purpose of God in my life through experiencing the recent storm. God wants me to have a remarkably resilient faith. Resiliency is a condition whereby one actually enlarge his or her capacity to handle problems, and in the end not only survive but grow. Resilient people find purpose and meaning in their suffering.

I remember I kept prayed asking God for a breakthrough in my relationship with Him. I want to be closer, much more intimate, with Him. Then somehow in the midst of the storm, my heart was saying, “this is the time, this is the beginning”. Could this be the answer of my prayer long time ago? Then my heart said, ‘I feel like God’s answering my prayer through this storm! ‘… Funny how God answers our prayers, huh… Through the recent storm I learnt to depend on God much deeper than I had before! God is in the storm! Jesus was in the storm with Peter and other disciples – Jesus let Himself to be found in the storm!

 

Thank You so much Lord for this “journey on a boat”! So many I’ve learnt that I wouldn’t be able to get it from else where… I am really grateful for Your deliverance, God! You have offered me a way out, an unexpected one, and now I can breathe easier, You have relieved me.

Now this boat has found its anchor. But I know this journey is not the end. It is only the end of my 3-parts writing in this blog, the journey in my life shall continue. For those who are facing the same, don’t give up – God is in the storm, and He’s always in control!

God bless you all dear friends

“Sometimes God comes, not in those moments when we are most lifted up, but when we are down the lowest in the place of vulnerability and fear. Sometimes He comes, not on the mountaintop, but in the storm”

Trusting God, No Matter What!

Simple Lesson From ‘Tukang’

I was impatient to wait for the AC repairman to come over doing the new installation. After waiting for 3 hours more than the promised time, he finally came *fiuhh.. Turned out he was driving a bike (not a car) to reach our place, a big (heavy) compressor, the aircon, and bag of tools were with him. Then it wasn’t as easy as I thought to install the AC! The repairman who installed the old aircon did it wrong (with the pipe etc) and he had to handily use his hammer to break over the wall (poor wall… Luckily we haven’t lived here yet and much renovation still has to be done..)

Waiting while sitting here observing him working, I kinda admire how he knows every bits in doing it.. It’s a tough job, and surely it comes from, maybe years, of experience.. Then I remember my servants at ‘home’ (which soon I’m gonna say goodbye and hello to my own new home, my own new family!), they’ve been working since young, many hard experiences and difficult times they must have undergone.. Things that surely were very much different than what I’ve been through..

Surely we are all processed by God through our life circumstances.. Could I survive if I have to undergo the same problems and life challenges as theirs? Maybe not..

They are very much shaped through facing (and avoiding) life’s poverty.. Sickness, perhaps.. Limited choices due to poor education and family background..

God has assigned each one of us life’s situations that ‘fit’ us perfectly.. What kind of wisdom He has? Can we trust His wisdom?

Thinking what I’ve been through is hard, how about them? Or for many others in third-world countries who don’t even know what to eat the day after? Who don’t even have the chance to smile or laugh because they’re too frightened out by intimidations, threats, murders, wars in their surroundings?

How many who would take my position now?

I’m sure it will be PLENTY!

Why can I givethanks for my own life?

Stop staring at above.. There’s always more to want..
Looking underneath.. So many people with broken dreams just because they don’t have anymore choice..

Forgive me, Lord..
Forgive me to go astray..
Thank You for Your loving kindness, for Your patience, for Your understanding..

Keep using everyday’s people to teach me lessons, to humble me, dear God..

How I long to return to Your loving hands.. And I am convinced You are always available for me!