Fireproof Your Relationship!

<Ini diambil dr note yg barusan aku tullis di Facebook )

 

OKKK… this will be my first note that I write di Melb tahun ini hehehehe… Selama 2 minggu ada disini, kesan-kesan… DINGINNNNNN!!! hahahahaha… kembali hrs mau ga mau bersahabat dgn cuacanya Melb yg suka uring2an.. ga pernah bs ditebak… bentar ada matahari bersinar, bentar angin kenceng banget (pas hr sabtu weekend kmrn, di dlm mobil sampe brasa mobilnya tuh ke-shake gt saking anginnya kenceng banget!! Ngeri ga sih… kl g jalan sendirian bs ketiup.. terbang plg ke indo hahaha…*lebay ), bentar ujan gede, ujan kecil…. Kl punya co/cw yg temper-nya kaya gini ribet jg ga sih huehehehe…

Selama ini pula hrs kembali ke yg namanya “dapur” plus acara masak memasaknya huehehe… pas mgg lalu nangis gara2 potong bawang bombay, oh how I missed that! hahaha…di Indo kan boro-boro msk dapur.. hbs kepikir mau buka lemari dapurnya aja nanti ada kecoak, udah jd ilfil hihihi..
Trs sementara ini jd ibu RT dl deh buat dd… maklum dia br kali ini jauh dr ortu n br ngerti dikit banget, tp seru jg tuh berdua with my bf ngajarin dia masak nasi, parut wortel, ceplok telor (awalnya semua telor yg dia buka langsung ancur saking kuat tenaganya huahahaha), make microwave (iya, itu termasuk ) dll…

Belon lg ngurusin soal rumah, telpon, bayar bill ini itu.. sempet pusing jg tuh minggu pertama.. tp Tuhan tuh terbukti bae, He’s my wonderful Savior! Dlm setiap mslh atau tantangan, He always provide a way out yg so creative bo hehe…

 

Pagi menjurus siang ini, stlh update resume, chatting, nulis2 blog n nonton tv sambil makan (multitasking beneran kan gw huehehehehe).. aku jd keinget sama film Fireproof… Film yg udah aku tonton bulan lalu pas di Indo, yg beneran bagus banget! Bs liat disini kl yg mau tau lbh banyak: http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/

Film ini cerita soal rship and marriage sih… while I’m not gonna discuss the story plot, aku jd kepikir bahwa emang bener di dlm setiap relationship, even yg kita dan org luar pikir itu udah yg “perfect” sekalipun, kaga ada yg namanya kebal sama masalah, godaan, tantangan…!

Pas buka email, ternyata ada devotional emails dr The Vine dgn topik “Debunking Marriage Myths”… mitos2 dlm pernikahan yg aku rasa wajib kita utk tau, baik yg msh single, yg udah berpasangan tp blm menikah, inc yg udah menikah jg, of course… So I’m gonna share it here with you guys…

 

The verse foundation-nya sendiri diambl dr John 8:32 “Know the truth, and the truth will make you free”… Jd ada baiknya jg kita face this reality skrg drpd hidup di dlm angan2 dan pas hadapinnya ga siap krn ga dpt bekal yg cukup…
Termasuk dlm hadapin myth # 1:

The myth of ‘viral love,’ insists that love is caught, much like a virus.

Myth ini menganggap cinta itu ‘ditangkap’ at right time, right place, n skali dihinggapi bakal terus bahagia and bring u to enter a lifetime of unending bliss.
Ga ada salahnya kok berpikir positif begini, drpd org2 yg merasa pahit kpd cinta. Tp pas udah nikah n dihadapi sama bills, anak2, daily routines, etc etc, something has to give. ROMANCE mulai vacate the centre stage and welcome to the reality!

Tp byk org yg salah, menanggap kl romance itu hilang krn desakan reality, maka LOVE itu pun hilang and they should walk out of the rship! The world’s rule has confused us between LOVE and ROMANCE!

The truth is, love does not die because romance bows to reality. If two people who once ‘fell’ in love are willing to ‘stand’ together in love through the challenges and opportunities of family life, romance can grow again, stronger than ever.

Love based solely on romance doesn’t work when ‘for better’ meets ‘for worse.’ Romance based on a decision to love ’till death us do part’ is the only love that’s dependable, consistent and trustworthy. Romance brings us together, this kind of love keeps us together!

So don’t use romance as the barometer of our love. There are still many worthwhile indicators such as respect, honor, faithfulness, and serving heart.

 

Myth #2: The myth of the ‘right person’ – suggests happiness in marriage depends entirely on finding the right person.

Just find the right person and they’ll make your life supremely happy, romantic, excited, fulfilled, blissful. Tp apa emang bener as ‘easy’ as that?
Yg perlu kita ber-hati2, kalo kita cuma depend on this kind of belief, when it turns out he/she makes mistakes, kita bakal tempted to classify our partner as “wrong person”.
‘He’s not the man I married,’ we complain. He may not be the person you expected him to be (that person doesn’t exist outside your myth) but he is the one you married and the problem isn’t all his.
Kita bakal out from our commitment searching for the next “right one”…

Tp kebenaran yg hrs kita sadari adlh, there is no right person to make us happy always.
Kebahagiaan yg sesungguhnya hanya ada di dlm Yesus, dan sometimes the true happiness isn’t always about finding the right person, but to become one!
Let God change us into that right, better person, more n more into the image of His Son… having a generous heart, allowing our partners to be real, limited, changeable humans, and looking to God for our joy!

 

Yg terakhir, Myth # 3: The myth of the “full box” – kl kita nikah itu kita terima satu box yg isinya super lengkap (mirip2 kantong ajaibnya Doraemon huehehe). Mau romance, physical fulfilment, generosity, true love, and being served ‘in the style to which we’ve become accustomed’, semuanya ada di dlm box itu. Tiap kita butuh apa tinggal ambil, supply-nya ga bakal pernah habis, dan juga low maintenance.

Awal2 relationship it might be true so we fall into this myth. Tp on one rainy day, we try to dip into the box and suddenly find it’s empty!!

At that point we feel shock, disappointment, anger, despair and hopelessness and conclude that our partner failed, fooled or forsook us. Why else would the box be empty? At that point the myth suggests, ‘It’s time to find another box!’

Yet, is it true according to God???

 

The liberating truth is, marriage is a big box, an empty one. Your job is to make enough deposits to guarantee sufficient withdrawals for a rich relationship. Jesus said: ‘… The amount you give will determine the amount you get back’ (Luke 6:38 NLT)…

 

We must start by asking, ‘What would I like to have in the box?’. Then you deposit that into the box.
Then you ask, ‘How much of it do I want in the box?’. Then you deposit enough to generate that amount.

You see, the box is only a container; it didn’t fail and you didn’t get a bad box. You are the owner of the box, not its victim. Accepting this truth frees us to make our relationship and marriage rich and rewarding by becoming a giver, not just a taker!

So… demikianlah ke-3 mitos in marriage… while I myself haven’t got married yet, I perceive this as God’s message in equipping me… Di saat bisa kenapa kita ga menabur firman di dlm hati sendiri, pd saatnya kita akan menuai…

Sekian, trima kasih, and God blessssssss… ))

ps: enak banget nih nulisnya smbl duduk deket heater yg jaraknya cm 15 cm P

For All Women Out There ;)

Who said becoming women is easy or easier than men?

I’ve just read this article by John Piper, one of my fave authors, and these are the challenges that women of God have to face (girls, embrace yourself! ):

1. That all of your life—in whatever calling—be devoted to the glory of God

2. That the promises of Christ be trusted so fully that peace and joy and strength fill your soul to overflowing

3. That this fullness of God overflow in daily acts of love so that people might see your good deeds and give glory to your Father in heaven

4. That you be women of the Book, who love and study and obey the Bible in every area of its teaching. That meditation on Biblical truth be the source of hope and faith

5. That you be women of prayer, so that the Word of God would open to you; and the power of faith and holiness would descend upon you; and your spiritual influence would increase at home and at church and in the world

6. That you be women who have a deep grasp of the sovereign grace of God, that you be deep thinkers about the doctrines of grace, and even deeper lovers and believers of these things

7. That you be totally committed to ministry, whatever your specific role, that you not fritter your time away on soaps or ladies magazines or aimless hobbies. That you redeem the time for Christ and his Kingdom

8. That, if you are single, you exploit your singleness to the full in devotion to Christ and not be paralyzed by the desire to be married

9. That, if you are married, you creatively and intelligently and sincerely support the leadership of your husband as deeply as obedience to Christ will allow; that you encourage him in his God-appointed role as head; that you influence him spiritually primarily through your fearless tranquility and holiness and prayer

10. That, if you have children, you accept responsibility with your husband (or alone if necessary) to raise up children who hope in the triumph of God, sharing with him the teaching and discipline of the children, and giving to the children that special nurturing touch and care that you are uniquely fitted to give

11. That you not assume that secular employment is a greater challenge or a better use of your life than the countless opportunities of service and witness in the home the neighborhood, the community, the church, and the world.

That you ask: Which would be greater for the Kingdom— to be in the employ of someone telling you what to do to make his business prosper, or to be God’s free agent dreaming your own dream about how your time and your home and your creativity could make God’s business prosper? And that in all this you make your choices not on the basis of secular trends or yuppie lifestyle expectations, but on the basis of what will strengthen the family and advance the cause of Christ.

12. That you step back and (with your husband, if you are married) plan the various forms of your life’s ministry in chapters. Chapters are divided by various things (very important!)—age, strength, singleness, marriage, employment choices, children at home, children in college, grandchildren, retirement, etc. No chapter has all the joys. Finding God’s will, and living for the glory of Christ to the full in every chapter is what makes it a success.

13. That you never forget that life is short, that billions of people hang in the balance of heaven and hell every day, that the love of money is spiritual suicide, that the goals of upward mobility (nicer clothes, cars, houses, vacations, food, hobbies) are a poor and dangerous substitute for the goals of living for Christ with all your might.

14. That in all your relationships with men you seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in applying the Biblical vision of manhood and womanhood. To understand your unique role as what I call “gracious leadership”, a leadership which involves elements of protection and care and initiative.

15. That you see Biblical guidelines for what is appropriate and inappropriate for men and women in relation to each other.

Spend some time to think about those challenges and roles that God has offered for us. Surely women are unique. If God has loved us so much, surely even much more we deserve from men, but don’t chase after their approval! It is your right, to be loved. Women are not beggars hihihi… We are indeed valuable human being, beautifully created, fearfully and wonderfully made by our mighty God

God bless all my girlfriends