“Why Me, Lord?”

This morning I and my bf pick up my dad and my brother from airport. My brother is taking his summer classes while my dad is holidaying (again) in Melb 😛 I am so excited when my brother gives me ‘tons’ of presents from my lovely mom in Indo! Before I made a list of things that I wanted her to buy for me from Indo (much cheaper and in certain area of product category Indo is more ‘innovative’ eg. BB casing for Javeline -couldn’t find one in Melb!- hahaha…) and she did buy all for me! She even bought me other things that I did not ask but surely I am more than happy to receive it!

Then an hour later all of sudden Holy Spirit reminded me of my friend’s status update in FB that I read days ago, it was about how people often ask “why me, God?” when they are faced with trials and difficulties but rarely ask the same question when they are blessed beyond their expectations.

I feel so blessed by how my mom has been so nice to me buying me a lot of presents and also how my dad has supported me in many ways.  Then my mind thinks, there are a lot of people out there who may not be able to enjoy the same privilege like I do. They may even have lost their parents. And although my family and my parent’s relationship is far away than perfect, they are still together. They don’t get divorced and not throwing things to each other everyday. I’m saying these things not to take any advantages or try to make myself feels better than others who may have to endure those life situations, I’m saying these things because I realize how a selfish person I am amd how I have to be content for everything I have in my life at this stage! When I am enjoying God’s blessings why don’t I ask God “why me, Lord?”… I am so undeserved! Truly I have received all by His grace and by His favor only!

Just last night I ‘complained’ several things to God while writing in my journal then I prayed for God to change me, for giving me love, understanding, and patience to live happily with my ‘unmet expectations’ and be content. Then the next morning His Spirit revealed me this, praise God!

 

I also find hope in God’s word I receive from my pastor today. God able to change my heart! What seems extremely very hard for me to have a changed heart (impossible) is possible for God! God is not giving me good advice to change my behavior (I used to read one best-seller self-help book titled “The Giant Within” before I came to know Jesus personally and the more I read and tried to apply it in my life, the more I realize how I was even more far from a giant if I stood by my own strength!). In fact, God is giving me promise that He can change my heart, the root of all my behaviors!

An advice and a promise is so much different not only in words, meaning, but also in its context of use! Advice means “you must do something in order to be/ to get another thing”. Promise means you simply receive it! You do not need to do anything else, just believe in the promiser!

And God has promised in Yehezkiel 36:26, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh”. Notice that God does all the works in this verse!

I rejoice in this great truth so much, it truly lifts up my burden.

He promises me to get into the root (my heart) and fix it from the inside!

I know I have a lot to learn about contentment, living in grace, endurance, patience, love, and soooo many other thingssss! But just as a good father leads his son in doing his homework, he will guide me through all the process in ‘finding the correct answer to that tough Math question’. The father will not give all the answers straightaway to him (he will make his own son stupid if he did that because no exercise for his son’s brain), but this smart and good father will lead his son to discover together the right answer for that tough questions!

 

I am rest secured knowing that God does not leave me in tough situations and does not leave me to struggle alone in any dilemmas — He is always there through my happy and sad times. God is Emmanuel, He is always with me teaching me and changing my heart to be more like His.

Well I guess that’d be it my sharing for now…

 

GBU all 🙂

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