I never thought talking with God would be this exciting! For such a long time I didn’t feel the same way I did yesterday
when I shared my heart with Him. It may be always exciting especially during my first years in following Christ with my first love but then I’ve become forgetful of how exciting it was after so many distractions came upon my life in my later walk with Him!
I felt disappointed yesterday due to one thing, and like always, I wanted to straightaway share it with my bf. But then I stopped before the words even came out. I’m sure he’d definitely listen as always, yet I felt he still couldn’t understand the depth of my disappointment… So I chose to be just silent. Then there in my heart was saying, “There are certain times when only You, Lord, able to understand the depth of my heart. There are certain times when I have to be satisfied to share it with You only, not to anyone else...” YET I still felt dissatisfied to only share it with God about my disappointment yesterday! How I wish my bf could understand, or even ‘the subject’ who have made me disappointed could know and understandd how I was disappointed!
Then I heard a small voice asked me in my heart, “What is it really that have made you disappointed? Tell Me, I’m listening“
Hearing that question from the Holy Spirit prompting me to share it with Him, I couldn’t stand to ignore Him. To my amaze, just seconds after I started sharing it with Him, He revealed the deepest motive in my heart that had caused me to be disappointed toward this person!
That is, I so much wanted acknowledgement from him for what I’ve done (ok, the person is my father…) yet I didn’t get it from him!
After His Spirit revealed it to me the true reason, I started to think again… “Why would I want to be acknowledged by men (including by my own dad) when my focus should always be pleasing God instead of men? Why would I want to gain any praise from men, when the highest and eternal joy I can get is only from Him when later He’ll say to me ‘Well done my faithful servant’ – all other praise from men is temporary?”
Realizing this my focus was shifted from my disappointment to a reminder not to seek acknowledgement from men…
What made this conversation with God interesting is, I didn’t expect Him to reveal my deepest feeling that I myself didn’t even know! Very rare human can do this (even though my bf often gives me advice whenever I’m feeling sad or disappointed because of something/someone)
Then suddenly I feel this satisfaction in sharing my heart with Him! This is new for me (or like I said at above, I might have felt this satisfaction during my early walk with God but then I neglected it because I was prone to find satisfaction in sharing my heart with men instead!)
I continue to pray for God to give me the inner satisfation everytime I share my heart with Him! Thank You Lord for this revelation 🙂 Forgive me if I have neglected our quality chat, bring me closer to Your Holy Spirit once again, Lord. Satisfy me with You only, Lord!
“God always want us to be honest with Him. He already know all that is happening inside us, but we will experience His love more deeply when we share our heart with Him”