I wrote this last week’s Saturday in my Facebook notes 🙂
OK!! I can’t wait to write this note and share it to all of you! I’ve been thinking what to write since last night, there are so much but I’m just gonna try to write it as short, sharp, and clear as I could. I hope this note will be a blessing for you as the Holy Spirit reveals His words regardless your life situations that may be different than mine 🙂
Before I came to the camp I said to God I don’t want any emotional play, I just want to taste and see that God is real, and I want to get His special words and guidance esp before I’m going back to Indo end of this month (how fast!)
The theme is “Back to Basic”, and I thought the speakers (Ko Dan, my pastor & Ps. Mark McLendon – a really funny guy for sure!) would discuss about “Jesus & His sacrifice at the cross” (I thought that was the basic of Christianity), instead they discussed about what is life, our destiny, our purpose and calling, eternal life, and Kingdom of God! (so deeppp :P)
First day and night I didn’t get much, I was too sleepy to listen to the sermons! I accidentaly slept when I was writing *upsss… first time happened (the memory will last in my ‘unbalanced writing’ in my 365 notebook :P)
Then on second day session 4, Ko Dan had an altar call, for those who were willing and ready to do God’s calling in our life. I knew God’s calling in my life as the big picture (to bring lost souls in my family & community through any ways), but I didn’t know the exact details of the puzzle, yet.
When KD anointed me with the oil, I felt a deep pressure in my heart, I couldn’t hold it I just cried and cried as KD spoke to me simple words,
“Just follow Me, I will lead you”
As simple as that but I knew God Himself was speaking those words to me through KD!
You know when God speaks, He doesn’t need many words, simple words will always burn my heart and soul! And this has become my rhema (God’s spoken words for me, me only!)
I cried and cried even after I went back to my seat, my heart said at that time, “God, nobody ever loved me the way You do!” (I actually said it to God in Indo, I feel it is more intimate, “Tuhan, aku ga pernah dikasihi seperti ini!! Seumur hidup aku ga pernah ngerasaiin dikasihi seperti ini!Hanya Engkau yg mengasihi aku THIS much!“)
I just felt God’s love so deep, I couldn’t even describe how deep, how great His love is! God’s love is just indescribeable, it can only be experienced and to be enjoyed…
Then Holy Spirit spoke to me, He said, “Nat, too many times you only use your physical eyes in seeing things. If you want to follow Me, you have to see by faith!”
I kept thinking, from many words that God could speak, He instead spoke to me, “Just follow Me”… That is such an assurance! Holy Spirit asked me rhetorically, “is it hard to just follow?”…. No, it’s not hard, Lord… Just following is never hard! It’s supposed to be not hard, it MUST be easy! Especially if following Someone whose wisdom as great as Yours!
Then at night there was a ‘soaking’ session by Ps. Mark (he also had that session when I joined the 2007 Winter Camp “Undivided Heart”), it was time to just sit and be soaked by God’s presence and love.
I was expecting God’s touch and the manifestation of His Holy Spirit, but I felt nothing.
I didn’t cry at all, I was just there praying, speaking to God.
To my amaze, this time I didn’t get disappointed at all to not experience His manifestations (while some were crying, jumping, and laughing). I knew He was there, He is real, and I knew as a good Father He won’t neglect His children who draw near to Him. I said to Him, “Lord, I know if You want to touch me You can do it anywhere, anytime You want. I’m just gonna wait, touch me at Your perfect time”
Also the next day, at our last session, I didn’t feel anything. Yet once again I wasn’t disappointed. What other signs could I ask if His Spirit within me has testified to my spirit and soul that God is real?
I might get disappointed if this happened to me some years ago. Yet, apparently God has brought me to a higher level of faith! Therefore I am rejoicing!!
I just knew He is there and I just believe He never neglect me, not even once!
At last session though, I received another rhema from God, it is a word of “spiritual destiny”
Ps. Mark clearly said, “Your spiritual destiny isn’t determined by what kind of job or work you do”
I was really touched by the word of ‘spiritual’! I never know that the ‘destiny’ that God meant for me isn’t the kind of ‘destiny’ that is in my human mind! I said to myself, “see, once again you judge things by worldly view”!
I thought my destiny, my calling was related to more a kind of job, but it didn’t!
From the first day Ps. Mark had mentioned that our identity is “Son of God”. Jesus died for us to make us God’s children, that’s the purpose of His redemption plan (read Galatians 4:5 if you don’t believe me: “God sent Him (Jesus) to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that He could adopt us as His very own children“)
As God’s children, our home is not in this world!
The life we’re having on earth is just temporary, one day it will end… Our destination is HEAVEN, to be with Jesus Christ! And if you think Heaven is only about “fence made from gold, happiness, all costly stones, angel’s flying everywhere”, well, that is still too shalow, and once again that is worldly definition of heaven! KD said, if that kind of happiness that the Heaven only offers, how long you’d think you would not get bored? Maybe within a week you’d said, “I wish I bring my magazine!”
Heaven is just too great to be described and imagined! Good news is, God wants us to feel that heaven while we’re still on this earth!
I know I have to read again Jesus’ teaching about Kingdom of God in the Gospel, because Kingdom of God is about principles. That’s why we can experience the reality of God’s kingdom while we’re still on this earth, IF we practice its principle as our way of thinking and living!
Jesus has taught us (to name a few) to be a forgiver (forgive seventy times seven), to be a giver (give and it will be given to you, the measure you use will be used unto you), and to be a man full of love (love and bless your enemy). By adopting and acting out these principles in our daily life, we can experience God’s power and overflowing joy in our daily life!
And by knowing that our destination is heaven, we will think really wisely of things that we want. We will ask not only ‘how to get what we want” but also more importantly “WHY do we want what we want?”
If we want to chase that certain career position, WHY? If we want certain things to posses, WHY? If we want certain relationships, WHY?
Because many (if not most) things we want, we will not bring it with us to heaven! They are all TEMPORARY!
So be wise in setting our values and life priorities.
KD said it does’t mean we can’t do or have what we want on this earth, but we should use temporal things (things that we have in this world) as a mean to get the eternal things!
Our skills, talents, career, work, material, posessions, family, husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, friends, hobbies – they are ALL will discontinue one day! We cannot keep those!
But we can use these to achieve things that we eventually can keep when we die, we can use these to add value to the salvation that we’ve received from Jesus!
Don’t be afraid to surrender these things we have in this world, “We will never lose whatever we release to Jesus, but we will lose whatever things we keep from Jesus” – KD 🙂
So this is my destiny in living!
My point-of-destination is heaven, earth is just a transit. God has given me a destiny to be His own child, to live the principles of Kingdom of God while I am still on this earth, through anything that He has entrusted me (the temporal things)!
Indeed, I am so thankful for all of these revelations!
I’ve always known I can be ‘more’ than I am now. I can be more intimate with Christ, I would be able to know more what’s in God’s heart, and most importantly not only knowing, but to have a heart that is more like His, to be more Christ-centered than self-centered…
By the way, the place of this Winter Camp, Grampian, was the first place I also had when I first joined Winter Camp in 2005. Five years surely went very fast. At that time I knew very little about Christ (now is also still little because His characters are too deep to be experienced, it takes my whole life!), but I am so amazed by how God is faithful to bring me to this point!
So when I was on my way home in bus, I wonder what would I be in the next five years?
I don’t want to be the same! I want my life to be changed!
I truly want to live the way God has destined me! I truly want to be God’s true worshipper!
I believe He is able as He has given me the power to obey and please Him (that is His promise in Philippians 2:13, “For God is working in me, giving me the desire to obey Him and the power to do what pleases Him”)
What should I do now?
“Just follow Him. He will lead me”
God bless all of you my beloved friends 🙂