“Hello Home”

I’ve arrived in Jkt on last week’s Saturday night, had spent several days in Singapore, meeting my twin best friend n went to Universal Studio 🙂 On my flight from Melbourne to Singapore, I opened the scrapbook that MCA 2 gave me for more than once, I really love it! It even made me cried last night…

I was so stressed out yesterday… I couldn’t get help from my dad when I need him with the wedding preparation, it really made me sad plus disappointed… Then I’m also still questioning God whether I really belong in Indo… With road that seems difficult in front of me, I’m questioning God what is my true purpose to be here? Purpose that will be able to ‘force’ me to keep walking forward even though I have to give extra effort and struggle, even with pain and tears…

If my husband-to-be can be rest assured this is the place that God has entrusted for him, why haven’t I found the same assurance as stronger as his? 

O Lord, please help me, lead my way, hold my hand… I cannot see what You’re seeing at the moment, but I’m willing to!

I feel like a baby at the moment… I know nothing, I don’t know what’s best for me, what should I do… I’m feeling like I’m learning to crawl and walk step by step again…

God please guide me… Calm my heart with Your assurance that Your presence is really going with me even though my faith is weak… Give me boldness like Moses had in Exodus 33… to say that I won’t go forward if I cannot see You are with me in the place I’m going… to say that I won’t keep walking with a courageous heart if Your real presence isn’t with me…

Show me Your purpose, show me Your divine direction, give me divine vision, Lord… and then when I eventually receive one, give me a trusting heart to simply follow You with a steadfast faith in You and not relying on what my physical eyes see, just like Your message in ‘Back to Basic’ Winter Camp only a month ago….

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