Time to be crazy? Nooo.. That’s not what I mean 😛
These days I’m very busy with the wedding preparation. I’m so inexperience (my bridesmaid-to-be, my lovely cousin, is even smarter and have more knowledge in organizing a wedding!), I’m so fortunate to have her as my bridesmaid 🙂
I’ve done some mistakes in making decisions for some elements of the wedding, and I really regret these. Other things, I’m just enjoying all new things I’ve just found out in preparing a wedding.
Many times I get disappointed because I feel I don’t get appropriate help in time of need from my parents, I think I have to start accepting the reality and stop wanting them to change. It’s time for my heart to change first!
I can see many times I also did mistakes to my parents esp my mom. I already judged her with many perceptions (some of those may be wrong) so I cannot see her as ‘her’. I ask forgiveness from God for not giving my mom respect she’s entitled for.
If I easily get angered when my mom gives me critics (which she does it very often toward me) and perceive this unconciously as my ‘normal habit’, it’s time to change my perception – time to be not normal!
I’ve just realized as I’m writing this, many times what we think as ‘normal habit’ is our flesh!
Eg. Get easily angry, annoyed, when people say something that offense us or in contradiction with our opinions, resisting not to change things that people think is bad (and you know it too it’s not good for you) with reason “well, it’s me! I was born with this, I can’t change, this is just my habit”
I am a new creation in Christ when I was born again in Him, but many times I forget this truth. I thought the old me is ‘me’, but it’s not anymore… Now Christ lives in me, and I have to let Him increase and ‘the old me’ to decrease.
It is very hard for me to stay smiling when my mom criticize me (esp when I know I know better in things she’s saying), it is hard to face every critics she said with a grateful heart. But I’m willing to change..
I’m willing to be not normal if that abnormal is what’s in Christ’s characters!
Lord, I don’t know how I can change, I know I have to ‘let Your Spirit work within me’, but in practical I still don’t know how it applies..
Help me, Lord.. I want to be respectful toward my mom and my parents even though they are not perfect, I want to have a loving and caring heart, a heart that full with compassions as Yours..
Help me to be not me, God… Help me to be You…
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