Out of the blue last night I suddenly realized how much I have missed during my first two weeks in Jakarta by focusing only on things I don’t have and complaining about things I’m lack of at an ‘extremely high level’ everyday! I feel so ashamed of myself! I feel so stupid by acting like a child when I’m supposed to act and think like a mature Christian! Where have all the knowledge I’ve received about God’s words in Bible gone to?!
Many blessings I have missed lately just because I didn’t see them as blessings from God!
Yes, my parents may not be able to give full support or be there when I need them, but most importantly, they give full support for my marriage! They give freedom for me to choose what I see as the best man from God, they didn’t enforce me which man I should choose to be my life partner!
It’s very weird how this truth came up to my mind only last night!
It seems God has started to answer my prayer, He’s giving me that ‘day of revelation’ I’ve been waiting for!
I don’t want to waste my life by complaining and always feeling lack of something, I want to be content!
If I’ve known my dad and mom have their own weaknesses, why don’t I learn to accept their weaknesses and embrace them with God’s love instead of complaining, hating them, and wishing them to change?! It turns out it is me who need A LOT of ‘improvements & renovations’!!!
God please forgive me… I want to keep moving forward, I don’t want these imperfect people and situations to hinder my ways in fulfilling Your best plan in my life at the moment!
Lord, please take me back to Your wonderful loving arms… Please bring me back to the love of Father…
Thank You for opening my eyes, God… I am ashamed of myself, but I don’t mind to be ashamed by the truth that will set me free!
Humble me, O God… Humble me to see that everyone deserves Your love, and I am here to be the channel of Your love…
Forgive me for chasing things that don’t last eternally… Forgive me for toiling only for winds that will soon disappear! Forgive me when one thing I should seek is only Your presence daily in my life!
“The one thing I ask of the Lord – the thing I seek most-
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in His Temple.
For He will conceal me there when the troubles come;
He will hide me in His sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock.
Then I will hold my head high, above my enemies who surround me. (v.4-6)
Listen to my pleading, O Lord, be merciful and answer me!
My heart has heard You say, “Come and talk with Me”
and my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming”
Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation! (v.7-9b)
Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close”