Here’s what I wrote in my Facebook note on Sunday 22nd. Those of you who don’t have Facebook or my account can still read the wonderful works of Jesus Christ in my life 🙂
Hello Friends 😉 It’s been a while… Here’s my update since I’ve gone back to Indo :)I’ve shared to some of my friends about my first two weeks here, I told them it was wasted just because I couldn’t see God’s goodness in each day, I kept focusing on things that didn’t work according to what I wanted, I turned into a ‘Bridezilla’ (although things that made me mad not all related to the wed prep), how shame!
On my first week I was in TCT (City Church, my home church in Jkt), Tante Betty had recommended me to go to the ‘Amazing Church Retreat’ on Aug 15-17. Honestly, I wasn’t in a good heart condition at that time, I was not in a mood gathering with other believers, I was in my ‘autism mood’ due to problems I had. Approaching the days I was a bit confused in my heart, whether I should go or not. Somehow I knew if I went, I would get the deliverance I had asked, but I was not in a mood for seeking God, to be honest. I had registered my name but kept postponing paying for the registration fee, until on Friday, two days before the retreat! My fiancee had planning to go back to Jambi, and when I went with him to the travel agent, I was hesitant to purchase my ticket and go along with him. At last minute I decided I didn’t go with him, instead I paid the registration fee from the atm located nearby the travel agent. It was such a last minute decision, but Tante Betty was right, I did not regret making the decision to go!
There were many incredible speakers who went along with the retreat; we had Ps. John Mendez, Diana Frost, Riza Solihin, plus Om Djo & Tante Bet, of course. On the Sunday Aug 15 I was prophecied by Diana Frost during the Sunday Service, something that I didn’t understand and didn’t expect to hear. It was short and simple, “I see you are on a skateboard (huh?), it’s moving very fast, just enjoy the ride and you’ll laugh eventually!”. What’s the matter with a skateboard, Lord? Oh well, I received that prophecy with faith, because I know I will laugh like God has told me so!
On the second day of my retreat, we had groups divided based on gender. I chose to go with the women instead of youth (most of them was women with families aka ‘ibu2 & tante2’ but I didn’t mind, got opportunity to get extra knowledge he3). It was a heart-melting moment when Diana shared her life testimony about her marriage life! I didn’t expect a godly woman like her would ever experienced such things.
She had become God’s servant since her youth but then she made wrong decision in marrying her husband (now had passed away). He was an unbeliever, a druggist, an alcoholic, an abuser (physically, mentally, sexually). He hit her very often, he kept saying her ‘fat’, every morning he would get her to step up on scale, and if she gained weight he’d hit her! He didn’t work, Diana had a succesful career at that time at medical field and she became the backbone of the family. When they had their first son (one and only), her husband didn’t let her nurture her son, even not allowed her to nurse their baby (he said that her breasts were his!), such awful things he ever did to her! Plus, he had an affair with her bestfriend (Diana cathed them in a motel), and all he said was because she was fat!
She got it on until the tenth year, then she asked for a divorce, but it was a heartbreaking news when she heard the verdict that her son couldn’t stay with her.
It was such a long journey for her. To cut it short, her husband in the end repented! One day she was on the way picking up her son (her husband moved into her son’s house for some time). On her way to the house, God had told her that her now ex-husband would serve her, and she couldn’t believe what she heard. Her son hadn’t come home by the time she arrived, her ex-husband was the one who welcomed her. He served her food and drink, something that she hardly believed. Then he asked her one thing, “Do you know what’s the most thing I miss from you?” Diana thought in her heart, ‘oh no, not again’. Times when he was nice to her only when he wanted sex from her. But then he answered himself, “It was when you worshipping God with your beautiful voice…. Now I know that you are a good wife, that’s why you left me…” WOWW!! Truly nothing’s impossible for God and His ways are just too amazing!
It was after that session I got prayed and once again got prophecied. I asked her to pray for my marriage soon, as well as for both of our families that haven’t been saved YET. Before I could continue my words, she asked me one thing that straightaway silenced me from any doubts, “Do you believe God is able?” Of course I believe! But let my acts and life be according unto my faith! No more doubts. I kept all the next words she prayed for me, I believe God will never lie with His promise, I will wait until His words shall pass! Praise God!
Diana also shared with us another part of her life testimony, this time was to all the retreat members. She had a succesful career and very liked ‘things’. She liked good cars too. One day God told her that He would give her a mercedez, and He truly gave her one, somebody just gave it to her! BUT, then God asked her to live in that car! She had to sell all things she loved and God had warned her not to tell anyone that she was living in a car; and she was faithful, she lived in that car for two and a half years! She had to rely on prayer to get fuel, food, and place to have shower. Until one day she only had enough money either to get food or fuel, and she hadn’t showered for 3 days, and she felt so frustrated. Then Holy Spirit told her she would get a phone call from someone as soon as she heard His voice (she really thank God she didn’t have to sell her mobile phone too at that time!), and she did. Somebody invited her to come over to their house and live there. They said God wanted their home to be her home. They had prepared a nice room and asked her to take a shower. After 2.5 years, she finally could sleep on a bed! She told us this experience in tears, and this really moved my heart.
She never give thanked to God for a bed or shower, but now she did! She said, when you have to pray for your provision everyday, you will have a thanksgiving heart inevitably. The more you will give thanks for God’s favor, the more you can see and appreciate each of His blessings! God is rich and never lack of anything, and so His children are also! But, do you realize that you are actually rich? Not because of worldly material, but because God’s favor is simply upon us, everything will work for our good! It is time to use money to help and love people, not loving money and use people! Have a ‘crazy faith’ in God! Crazy faith equals to incredible favour from God! Faith is what it counts! Believe that we have God’s favour in our family, workplace, uni, relationships with people, and most importantly – relationship with God!
Ps. Mendez also talked a lot about faith. He reminded us that God’s promises may be interrupted, but our God is faithful to bring it to the end! God is still in control above the interruption! Message from Ps. Riza Solihin was also sharp like a sword to my heart, mind, and soul. He shared his life testimony of his marriage life too, how he once was an abuser to his wife. He would kick, hit, and slap his wife if he got angry. Then one day his daughter (from his wife’s previous marriage) went out when he was hitting her mother and asked him to stop. She was only a little kid at that time, but then she laid hand on him to stop and believe in Jesus! Such a bravery for a little kid, such a great faith she had! From then on Riza wanted his life to be changed, and Jesus has done so!
One statement that I remember he said, “Don’t build success outside your family and marriage life!” Where we live -our family- is the crucial foundation, more important above our workplace and social life. What use if one had a reputation in his social life but had a messy family? What use if one received many awards and high salary from his work but none of his family members be proud of him?
This was a very sharp warning for me, because before I went to this retreat, I had an awful time with my parents especially with my mom. I couldn’t accept her weaknesses, I couldn’t be more understanding, I couldn’t bear fruits of Spirit! I see that fruits of flesh were very apparent within those two weeks, things like hostility, quarrelling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, divisions, feeling that everyone is wrong (Gal 5:20, NLT), surely I wasn’t proud of myself!
If I kept facing conflict and problems in same way like before I knew Christ, how could she be able to see that Christ lives within me now?
If I had to build my ministry well, it wasn’t started in church or in social community, but first of all in my family! This is what I am called to do at the present!
These are the main messages I received from the retreat, thanks for paying attention up to this point 😛
I prayed to God before I came home, for the change to start in my heart and spirit first; I long to have an active faith (and the speakers especially Diana Frost has inspired me so much!). Start proclaiming God’s promises out loud! This isn’t the time anymore to pray silently and ask quietly in doubt for His promises! Faith comes from hearing, start praying with boldness and confidence! Abide in Him everyday, and He will give us anything we ask in His name (John 15:7).
Jesus is coming soon, we really have to let Holy Spirit moves through and within us, to carry out His kingdom to be on earth!
I am very joyful to receive God’s many new revelations, but even with greater revelation comes greater responsibility (not only for Spiderman! :P). I have a greater responsibility to walk based on that revelation, to be the doer of God’s words. Not by my own might or power, but by the Spirit of the Lord I am able to conquer doubt, laziness in pursuing God and in maintaining my spiritual disciplines, weak faith, and other hindrances from devil!
And the same Spirit of God is also within everyone of you. God bless you all 🙂