I was vacuum for a while from writing this blog, I was out to Hongkong & China for 10 days trip with my big family (when I say ‘big’, it included my grandpa, aunties, uncle, nephew, cousins 😉 ) then was very busy sorting out things for the wedding and apartment’s renovation *pheewww! All I can say is, GOD IS SO GOOD! He’s been pouring out His abundant mercy and grace unto me, I am so grateful for His deliverance, comfort, and divine solution in my problem!
After got disappointed with Him some time ago, I was inclined to write my journey of low times recently into 3-series of “Journey on A Boat” (Click here to read Journey on a Boat ‘Part 2’ and Journey on a Boat ‘Part 1’). Now I’ve come to several points of conclusion based on this experience:
1. As I wrote in ‘Part 2’, I’ve admitted that getting out of a boat is a must for my faith to grow. Many things I will miss if I don’t dare myself to get out from my boat (my comfort zone). At the end of my life, I don’t want to have regret, to keep asking ‘what ifs’ without really trying. At the end of my life, all those ‘what ifs’ become ‘might have beens’. What might have been if I had trusted God? I have to learn to discern between ‘faith’ or ‘foolishness’ (doing something big without serious thinking). I have to keep my relationship with Him to be strong to discern between the two, and when it turns out to be ‘faith’, I have to draw out the courage from the Source-get out of my boat and walk on water.
2. I think I have overcome the ‘denial’ stage. I wished my life could be free from problems (small problems that I know I can handle are allowable, but not a mountain-sized problem where I’d be powerless-no thanks). Yet, He delights when I am powerless. What? Is He a mean God? Not at all! Here is where I have received a revelation from Holy Spirit days ago. I was blaming God for my mountain-size problem, I was disappointed. But then after weeks gone by, not only I can witness God’s mighty deliverance over my problem, I’ve also let myself to be humbled by finally admitting that mountain-size problem is necessary in my life!
Some time ago I was holding my pride too high. I said to God I hated to be forced to go out from my boat, I hated to face the storm and raging wind, I was deeply scared. I might resent God as well because of the storm that I had to endure!
But see, God’s mercy and favour have humbled me eventually. I have come out from my cave (like Elijah who was once frightened to death by the threat of Jezebel – 1 Kings 19), I ate my pride and finally agreed with God, that yes, problems are necessary for my faith growth.
Kept rejecting to eat vegie because it didn’t taste nice, finally a 9-years old girl ate her pride and start to swallow the bitter melon full of vitamin C given by her mom – that girl represents me.
Only God is able to do this. Only God is able to soften my heart and let me see His love. Opening my eyes to see that He never, n.e.v.e.r, have harmful intention to me and my life. All He have for me is His love.
3. Holy Spirit opened my eyes last Sunday, that God wants His church, including me, to be strong.
A loving father must want his children to be fit, healthy, and strong. No good father wants his children to be weak and sick! Just the same with God the Father in Heaven toward us as His beloved Children. But He allows me to be weak, very weak, so that I can feel His power in my life even more! This is like what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10,
“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weaknesses’. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong“
Now I not only understand these verses by my head, I understand by heart – I’ve experienced that statement of Paul “When I am weak, then I am strong”. Praise God!
4. I understand purpose of God in my life through experiencing the recent storm. God wants me to have a remarkably resilient faith. Resiliency is a condition whereby one actually enlarge his or her capacity to handle problems, and in the end not only survive but grow. Resilient people find purpose and meaning in their suffering.
I remember I kept prayed asking God for a breakthrough in my relationship with Him. I want to be closer, much more intimate, with Him. Then somehow in the midst of the storm, my heart was saying, “this is the time, this is the beginning”. Could this be the answer of my prayer long time ago? Then my heart said, ‘I feel like God’s answering my prayer through this storm! ‘… Funny how God answers our prayers, huh… Through the recent storm I learnt to depend on God much deeper than I had before! God is in the storm! Jesus was in the storm with Peter and other disciples – Jesus let Himself to be found in the storm!
Thank You so much Lord for this “journey on a boat”! So many I’ve learnt that I wouldn’t be able to get it from else where… I am really grateful for Your deliverance, God! You have offered me a way out, an unexpected one, and now I can breathe easier, You have relieved me.
Now this boat has found its anchor. But I know this journey is not the end. It is only the end of my 3-parts writing in this blog, the journey in my life shall continue. For those who are facing the same, don’t give up – God is in the storm, and He’s always in control!
God bless you all dear friends
“Sometimes God comes, not in those moments when we are most lifted up, but when we are down the lowest in the place of vulnerability and fear. Sometimes He comes, not on the mountaintop, but in the storm”