“Am I There Yet? Am I There Yet?”

God bless our little family :)

God bless our little family 🙂

Yesterday I experienced a ‘hormon chaos’, that’s what I myself refer to as I didn’t quite understand myself… All day long I felt so easy to cry, gloomy, unmotivated, bored… Well, there was something happened that triggered the tears but I shouldn’t cry as much as yesterday because it was just over something trivial… And by the end of the day I cried again on my hubby’s shoulder, telling how I felt like a kid to her dad.. Thank you so much honey for being understanding yesterday..

I’m entering my almost-40-weeks-pregnancy now! I thought my turn would be on week 38 too, same like my cousin’s wife, my highschool friend, and two of my church friends (yes August & September are crowded months! Hahaha) and I’m getting bored of people asking ‘When’s your turn? Is it not yet?? When? When??’ I feel I wanna shout ‘I also don’t knowwwwww!!'(۳ ˘̶̀,˘̶́ )۳ hahaha.. Sorry friends, I know you all asked that out of caring heart, but I myself have been kinda impatient too!!! Hihihi… If the baby’s here all my friends will be made sure to see my ongoing updated status and profile picture in my Blackberry, Facebook & Twitter! 😛

Well, this is another lesson to trust on God’s timing… I & my hubby have prayed for the baby to be born on His perfect timing. Because I want to give birth naturally, all I can do is ‘wait, watch & pray’. Another thing is, we’ve been praying for the baby to be born on weekend, just so my hubby can take me to the hospital (noone else if God’s willing, although my mom will be on guard too), I so want him to be beside me during the process, from the beginning until the delivery…

Listening ‘tips’ from my friends&relatives who have given birth naturally are very helpful, so does with reading first-year-baby guiding book, I feel God is helping me preparing my heart just like what I asked Him to. I thought I would be ready should the baby arrived at week 38, and when turned out she didn’t, I have to be patient in my waiting, and unexpectedly I become more prepared each day. Although I become impatient sometimes, I am reminded it is my own prayer for the baby to arrive at HIS time…

Another thing is, my hubby’s new job is so demanding… This whole week he’s been working overtime (one til midnight 12 o’clock! The earliest he came home so far was 9.30 pm… I feel I wanna cry!!!)
Especially tonight, we had planned to have a nice dinner together thinking he could go home at ‘normal working hours’ then his boss asked him to stay because there’s still work to do 😥 so not fun hiks… I miss our quality time… I keep thinking if the baby’s here a lot of things will change and I have to be able to adapt to the new situation, responsibilities, and roles… Can I manage it……? 😦

This week my patience is really tested… And every now and then I failed 😦
Lord, please forgive me if my response in action & words have not pleased You… I know these are all to work more the fruit of joy and patience of Holy Spirit in my life, but sometimes it’s hard for me to ‘pass the test’… I’m sorry, Lord…

I am indeed excited to welcome this wonderful gift from God! Yet I have to admit my heart is troubled with anxieties now… Uncertainty with what I will face too, becoming a mother…

Dear Lord, please help me by the power of Your Holy Spirit to change, to be more like Your Son… Thank You for Your grace and love, for always welcoming my weaknesses without complaining, for understanding me and my deepest thoughts and dilemmas, for helping me to change to the better… I don’t know what I can do if I don’t have You alongside me… I can only say thank You God…

Your daughter


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