“I want to” but “I dont feel like”

Lord, I want to fall in love once again with You.. Many worldly issues have shifted my focus away from You.. I miss to worship You, to be drawn toward You closer, but why it seems I don’t have the appetite?
‘I want to’ but ‘I’m lazy’ at the same time, how can it be?
It’s very difficult to ‘deny yourselves and take up your cross’…
I want to experience You once again, God.. Not only in having my problems solved and miracles happen, but I want to experience things that can change me to be more like Your Son.. True change in my heart… I want to be better in character, in Your eyes, in people’s eyes…
Many times I hate myself and feel powerless to ‘save me from myself’.. It’s all evil there, I’ve trusted too many lies that aren’t from You.. Is my heart too harden now, Lord? Please show me Your power in my life, God.. In my daily life, day-by-day.. Show me that You are able to change my heart supernaturally, somehow.. Change that is steadfast and not momentarily..
I feel like I’m moving backward compared with last year in terms on my personal relationship with God, especially lately when too many things out of hands.. Help me God, draw me close once again.. ‘Make me’ so in love with You again.. Don’t let this world take me away from You..

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