A smack on my face! These days those ‘smack’ (in other word, “God’s dicipline”) come repeatedly unto me. I feel guilty and resent of myself, yet I know that is not the purpose of God disciplining me.
There was an incident happened lately that made me realize how I need to behave more gently and humble toward other people. This incident has made me feeling ashamed, I am a ‘child of God’ but behaving rude and impolite to the people close to me…?
Then when I share with one person close to me about this incident and how I wish I could be more patient and gentle, she answered “you’ll surely can be more patient and gentle than I am because you have more experience with the Lord than I do, and you have the help you need” I was stunned. I believe this person’s answer must be frank, and she expected ‘more’ from me ‘just because’ ‘I have more experience with the Lord’. How can I be salt and light to other people if I couldn’t control myself to be patient and gentle…? Another shame.
Condemnation hit me, I have to attack it with God’s words in 1 John 1:19
But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness (New Living Transation)
In this kind of situation, it’s very easy for my human mind to get distracted and believe the devil’s lies. The fact according to God’s words shows that He is faithful and just. Once I confess my sins, He not only forgives, but cleanses us!
Imagine being given a very classy, pricey, beautiful handbag (HERMES anyone?) from our loved one then we spill a bottle of ink on it by accident (or any other stain that won’t be able to be removed by our self effort). We’d feel so sorry for the damaged handbag and feel scared perhaps to inform the giver. Maybe we’d just hide it under the bed and promise ourself to never use it again (plus hoping not to meet the giver just in case he/she might ask how we love the handbag yet never been seen anymore carrying it around -people with HERMES will surely carry it around ‘all the time’ right :P).
But then considering our good relationship with him/her, we finally decide to make the confession. It’s almost impossible to hide the HERMES’ incident because our heart also feel uncomfortable whenever we see him/her. Eventually when we make the confession, turn out he/she says it doesn’t matter at all and even offering a magic chemical ingredient that be able to 100% remove the stain! We can proudly carrying the HERMES bag ‘all the time’ again!
That is what Jesus also does whenever we confess our sins according to 1 John 1:19! What an amazing grace!
Plus this morning when I share with my friend how I was feeling hopeless and faithless these days, her answer: “There is always a way. Worry only kills faith. Regardless of what you’ve experienced, until now you and your family are still fine. If everything doable and easy it does not require faith. There’s always hope in Christ”
Wow! What a statement of faith! God doesn’t allow me to hear ‘an easy answer’. It was more like a command, not a comfort that I thought I needed. Why? Why can I be just ‘spoiled’ by God? In His eyes, my faith is more important than my comfort, that is what the Holy Spirit tells me just now…
I cannot complain, that is what my loving God wants me to have and experience… Your grace will sustain me, Lord, as always.