My Desire

The ignorance and the selfishness, again. Now I am no longer in the circle directly as we are in distance, and it’s not a disappointed feeling that I have, but more toward “amazement” (perhaps in sarcasm). Living under the same roof with different directions, visions, goals, and ambitions within each of the members is stressful. Yet, nobody wants to be the first letting go of their selfishness and take a corrective action. Each of them feeling as a victim. I know, because I used to feel that same way too, for years, until I am now here, healed and restored by the mercy of God. It’s really sad when you can’t enjoy gifts and blessings that God already given, just because of prolonged mistakes in the past then followed by ignorance in the present and for the future. Where will the family be heading?

I really desire to share what I’ve undergone with the kind of family background that God allowed me to have (in a novel, perhaps?), but have not gained enough confidence to do so… (language barrier is the biggest hindrance as I actually want to write it in English which isn’t my first language). I hope one day I can share it and those who may think they’re alone and are suffering by bitterness may re-think and find God’s grace behind of all the pains, tears, and sadness.


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