“Finding a house is as much difficult as finding a soul mate” – Natalia Wijaya
Yes, it is my personal comment based on my experiences lately, feel like been riding an up-and-down emotional rollercoaster. For a little bit of background, you may want to read my earlier post in November 2012 “Wedding Anniversary Gift from the Lord” about my testimony of how I can end up being here in Melbourne 🙂
In Jakarta both of us had to work and might be difficult for us to have much saving yet at least we have had our own apartment. Here, I can enjoy the privilege of taking care of Aimee by myself and we personally feel we can enjoy much better value-for-money entertainment and living standard in Melbourne but we don’t own a house. We have known it’d be a huge challenge for us once we moved here. Yet as we walked along through God’s opened doors, I’d always proclaim my faith “if God brings us here, He will not work half way. He will provide for us everything including a house of our own“, and how much I want to trust Him in a difficult situation like now.
We have just had an experience close to agreeing to buy a house & land package from one developer (we have put a deposit to show our interest in securing the land and have met their finance staff to discuss our loan options-for us that is very close in tying our knot to either the right or wrong path) – before then we decided not to proceed, just tonight.
Before then, I have to ‘suffer’ from the dilemmas and “what if” questions, enough to making me not be able to sleep well. The process made me emotionally tired, as I was really confused waiting for God’s answer whether that house was ‘the one’ or not, it was a thin line between we moved by our own wills or God’s wills.
So, my statement above (making the process in finding a house to be very much similar with the process I had to go through before I decided to be with my now husband), is based on the following circumstances 😛
1. You can’t always tell whether ‘it’ (as in ‘the house’) or ‘your spouse’ (he/she) is the one from the first encounter
Some people were lucky if they could, and I used to hope I could have that “instinct” or probing from Holy Spirit too when I first met my husband, but “sadly” it wasn’t that easy for me. However, as my journey in finding a house still continues, I hope I can!! (I dunno, maybe within the first minutes we talk to the agent, or within first seconds entering the house (if it’s a second). By the way, you are welcomed to visit my other blog to read the story of how I met my husband 😛 *blush*
2. Better to suffer heartbreaking moments before you move into a more serious relationship (as for the house, before you sign any contract. As in term of relationship, personally for me before you even agree to be his/her girlfriend/boyfriend. But of course what is more vital is, before you say that “I DO” 🙂 )
It is disappointing indeed for me when we finally decided not to proceed with the house as we had given our time and effort (plus that emotional burden by having that sort of dilemma), as much disappointing and hurtful as to be in a close relationship with someone but then turns out things don’t work out between you two, but hey, it is truly better to withdraw now than later when it’s too late!
3. May have to undergo a “wide array of selection” before you eventually meet the right one
These paragraphs I quote from my other blog about how I met my husband desribe it best haha…
“October 5th 2008 – That day he finally told me he wanted to be closer to me more than just a friend. I couldn’t remember whether I was happy or surprised, back then I didn’t know what to expect. That wasn’t the first time a man told me his feeling and asked me to be his girlfriend, it has happened many times before. For some I agreed to give a think and pray for a decision within a certain period (always ended up for ‘No’), while for the rest I just straightforwardly knew the answer would also be ‘No’.
For this one?
I didn’t know what I should answer and do. A part inside my heart said, “Ah, not again, the ‘cycle’ is happening again! Maybe it’d be just like the others, for not more than a month later the answer eventually would be a ‘No’.
But on that night somehow I just found that God was my hiding place. I didn’t know what I should pray or ask to God related with this issue. I just knew He would be the place where I could find the answer and He would guide me in making the decision”.
Reminder for myself: do not give up in finding my future ‘anointed house’!!!
4. Both requires HUGE leap of faith
Sure you may have liked what you see (“the offer, deal, house type” vs. “the person’s character, background”) but you are not able to find out “the real it/him/her” unless you make that first step, a huge step of faith that is. Would there be something wrong in the house which might be only found out after we move into it? Would I be able to accept his/her weaknesses which may arise later when we are into a more serious relationship? Would he/she change after we get married? etc etc
5. It is very rare to get 10 out of 10 from your “perfect house/spouse list” all’s checked, necessary adjustment has to be made as long as it does not overrule your most important value or principle
I used to write a list for my ‘future dream husband’ (knowing what your criteria is helping you a lot in deciding one from the “wide array of selection” I’m talking about at above. I forgot the complete list already and only remember the ‘important parts’, it was written in one of my diaries stored in my parents’ house in Jakarta) and my husband scored 7 out of 10 hahaha… Now when he annoys me, I tend to focus more on those 3 that he’s lack of and forgetting the other 7!! *ups* 😛 But on our ‘high’, I know I am with him for right reasons and he scored all the ‘3 very principle things that my future husband should have’ lol :-*
6. Don’t go for it at the first hand if you have known the house/he/she is “just not for you“
We have set a certain budget and we won’t make ourselves a fool by approaching a house that is way exceeding the budget range, we won’t even ask for more information from the agent, why would we waste our time and energy finding for more information for something that we cannot afford even though how beautiful the house may seem? For me before I was with my husband, this verse is my ‘limit’: “Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark?” (2 Corinthians 6:14) and I used to bear in my mind, “not all Christians are Christ-followers” 🙂
Well… maybe I can add some other points for the comparison, but I gotta go to sleep 🙂 After making that decision of letting it go, we both are more relieved now…. God may have saved us from a huge mistake… I know, because now I can sleep well again and I can feel that peace in my heart, at least I can save that dilemma for another time (still hoping we will get that hunch when we meet our future house!!) and back to the basic: “if God brings us here, He will not work half way. He will provide for us everything including a house of our own” I proclaim that God won’t fail us!
Have any encouraging stories or comments related with my story? 🙂