Nearly end of February, I bring myself back to my “2013 Project” and this time I shall discuss the Money $$$ part for the first time although the challenge in this area isn’t quite new for me.
One of things that I need to accomodate since I’ve got Aimee is this money part, particularly after we move to Melbourne whereas our family now only has a single income (maybe someday I will be back to work force again, but for now I feel God is calling me to be a full time mom).
World research has told it over and over, that money is one of the common sources of marital discord (scary, read this more about one article I found about 10 causes of marital stress and conflict), and I won’t say that this can be true, but it is true!
For example, two big differences between me and my husband that if we’re not careful can cause a fight (other than a female angry bird on valentine’s day :P):
I, have a lot of wants (I myself realize those things aren’t necessarily “needs” at the time I see it in stores), for example, those cute apparels for Aimee and cute stationeries (one of my weaknesses as I love nicely designed journal, unique book stands and photo frames). It may not cost much individually, but wisely speaking, a $25 book stand is also about the same price if we have a dine-out. During this time that we need to save to buy our own house, it does make a difference. Carelessly spending $25 several times (say, 4 times) has already cost us more than one week of our grocery shopping. Ladies, wives, and mothers (yes, that’s including me), spend wisely.
Nevertheless, sometimes I can’t help myself not to pout when I can’t buy things I want. This is something that I need to fix as my husband doesn’t like pouty face (who does? even I don’t like it if I see my own pouty face in the mirror lol) and he would feel guilty not to allow me buying those “wants” things (and men doesn’t like to be feeling guilty because of things that women should be able to control from the beginning – resistance to shopping urge…? lol)
I am a planner, but may not be as good as my husband is. He can see far away for our future and envision it more clearly. This is one of his plus. For example, when I decide not to buy something although I like it, I may only see it as ‘I don’t really need this, it’d be waste of money’, but my husband can also see from a greater perspective and benefit. We haven’t got our own house, so my husband always reminds me not to ‘collect clutters’ too much so when the time for us to move comes, it’d save us a great deal of effort in moving things.
I never thought it that way but this is surely a reasonable explanation remembering how messy and difficult it was when I arranged cleaning out our apartment in Jakarta all by myself before we moved here to Melbourne because my husband had gone earlier to settle everything’s first (you are welcome to read this testimony of how we finally move here to Melbourne). He remembered how I whined on the phone and BBM about how hard to organize and move things out in such a short period when ‘suddenly’ I hardly could remember at the beginning reasons I collected or bought those things (also, I never thought we’d move back to Melbourne again hehe).
Discussing those two differences between us leading me to several mental note (REAL SOLUTIONS):
1. Do not pout (yes,
do not pout) while we go window shopping and I can’t buy things that I want. Just enjoy the time spent together!
2. Ephesians 5:22-23
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior”
My husband is a better visioner than I am. Trust, obey and value him for his leadership.
3. Romans 12:2
This is one verse that the Holy Spirit has given me on the first day of this year for my “2013 Project”, and just now is the first time I read it in The Message version, and it really wows me:
“Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you“
The world’s teaching everyone to “have more“. The Bible cautions us from the above verse to not just following the stream without even thinking! I very very believe God’s in the process in transforming my mind even more this year in this particular issue about money, that “in Him, less is actually more“. God’s desire is for me to be an unique woman of God whose values determined by what God thinks, not what the world and society think (even what my own self thinks!).
My husband may be very pleased if he reads this (although he rarely read my blog unless I ask him so lol). But I know what will please him even more is my later action that really implement the above real solutions. Oh Lord, Your mercy and grace will sustain me, I really want to bless You and my husband!
Any interesting story about money thingy or other differences between men and women that you’d like to share or ask me to discuss further in the following posts? 😛