Well, I’m late by one day in wishing you all a happy new year, although not really ‘hot from the oven’ I hope the spirit of welcoming new things is still there (it’s still warm! :P).
I actually have written my reflection for year 2014 and wishes and desires for this new year in my own private diary, I almost forgot to write some here! To be honest, as years gone by (and I’m getting older lol), the spirit to making some new year resolutions have dissipated. I still treasure being given that point in life as a benchmark in “starting what I haven’t and improving what I should’ve been”, but I’ve become more aware and realize that I don’t have to wait for a new year to commit to make changes that I want to happen in my inner being and life, and also the change itself is more of a process rather than “a decision made in beginning of January and is forgotten by February”… So, maybe, because of those reasons this time I didn’t treat the day of 1st January as that ‘super special’ anymore… Yes, it is a new year, new beginning, and this point should have been used to renew commitment etc, but other than that nothing’s really changed much for me personally 🙂
Besides, I’ve just gone back 3 days ago from my “25 days unexpected holiday” in Jakarta so I was still busy cleaning up things and sorting my life back to normal that’s another reason I forgot to write yesterday. I had to go back to Jakarta all of sudden in early December because my grandfather passed away… Today is actually a month after he’s gone… Other family members and relatives might have their chance to be with him when he was hospitalized and during his critical condition, but for me who lives overseas my last memory with him was during last year’s Chinese New Year (31 January 2014). I was very grateful I still had the chance to meet him back then when he was still healthy, I’ll never forget the picture I had together with him when he still smiled and able to speak normally (several months later he fell from his bed and since then had to use wheelchair. Days before he passed away he vomited blood, liver failure soon followed and his heart rate weakening)… I’m sad I couldn’t see him for the last time other than on that day, but I’m also thankful at least the last moment we were together he was still smiling happily and that smile is what I keep in my memory instead of pictures of him that my dad sent me when he was in unconscious, emergency state…
I miss him. We lived together in one house since when I was a baby for 8-9 years before my parents bought their own house and we moved. Maybe because I moved when I was still that young, I didn’t remember much my memory with him in particular other than from my childhood photos that I still kept to date. Then when I studied in Melbourne I only met him once a year until I was back and lived in Jakarta for two years in which I thought I’d stay there for long time. Nonetheless, two years ago I decided to move back to Melbourne with my husband and daughter, and I still remember his face, his gestures and words when he met me and asked whether I had been sure with my decision and he just smiled and nodded as sign giving me the permission. I met him twice since then (once a year in two years after I’ve moved to Melbourne, the last time was in January 2014).
Strangely, through all the years I actually wasn’t that very close to my grandpa, but losing him this time really hit me quite hard. That ‘life routine’ that I thought I’d always have; visiting my grandpa whenever I had holiday in Jakarta, buying his favorite Cherry Ripes bars beforehand as a ‘routine gift’, I’ve lost those “routines” now. I felt weird when last time I went to Coles to buy some gifts for my family after just a short notice that I must be back to Jakarta for his funeral, yet not buying any Cherry Ripes.
My Grandpa (Kong) had lived for 90 years, he had lived a long life indeed. During his funeral many testified about their admiration of his hard work, diligence, faithfulness and commitment to my grandma (who passed away 12 years ago before him), and generosity. I was one of them who went to the front and gave my testimony before I sang “Kasih Dari Surga” to comfort the mourners. For me, Kong is a sacrificial and faithful person. He migrated from China when he was 12 years old to Ternate (Maluku) before then to Jakarta, having none, yet with hard work and perseverance successfully establish a business empire and legacy to his next generations. He never forget where he came from, he still regularly donated and built many schools, hospitals, and orphanages in mainland China and also in many other places. He definitely wasn’t a type of person who kept it all for himself.
During giving my testimony, God reminded me a verse from Proverbs 22:1
“A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold”
so I shared the above verse, and I can truly see that God’s word is true. The best legacy of all Kong has given to his family is his good name and living example.
Kong, I will always remember you, and I thank God I was still able to come to Jakarta. I arrived just a day before his funeral, and I still got the chance to see his peaceful face before they closed the casket. Teach me Lord to use my days wisely while I still live on this earth.
My thoughts and prayers also go to the families of the victims of Air Asia flight QZ8501, I can’t understand the depth of the loss and how they have to welcome this new year with such great loss and sadness… Let God’s love and divine comfort fill their hearts, for only He understand and have the reasons for all things that happened (Romans 8:28).
Have a miraculous 2015 everyone!