I miss my blog, a lot! Yes I really do. Been missing for almost two months (I’m very sorry), I’m here to share some updates and thoughts 🙂
So, last month Aimee has joined her new kinder 3 (another milestone!) and by now she’s very happy and really enjoy her kinder time (after a month crying every time I left the room pheww.. this indeed has been a “big achievement” for me and herself) :))
I still remember the night before her first day kinder, I couldn’t sleep well and my heart bit fast at random times whenever I remembered “tomorrow is Aimee’s first day!” lol… It was a mix-feeling of excitement and becoming nervous for this “big first day” of hers. I could treat it as ‘another ordinary day’ but I simply couldn’t help it if my deep-thinking-process-mode was on. She’s a big girl now!
Well, because the last post I wrote was about the way I love my child is just like the way God loves me (minus human flaws, impatience, imperfect love, etc etc of course) and I called that as “Part 1“, so, this post is still gonna be related with the topic. Ever since I have my own child, I could grasp just a little bit more of God’s parental love towards me as His daughter. So I’m willing to share some ways that I find the similarities through several parts in my blog posts (I promise the later part won’t take as long as the first one :P)
I was about to write a topic about “parental sacrifice” but when I start to share at above about Aimee’s milestone starting her kinder days, somehow I’m inclined to write about something else (hmm…) and then comes this question in my mind,
“What does God feel when He sees me starting a new milestone in life?”
What does God feel or think when you are in a new adventure in your life?
Perhaps you’re about becoming a new mom with first newborn soon, or you just have decided to start your own business or committing a new job or taking a new major in your university. Or perhaps, you’ve just lost someone you dearly loved….
All these “new things” in life whether they bring positive or negative emotions for your soul – Does God care?
If you asked me to “forget about it”, “let it flow”, or “just treat it as another ordinary day” in terms of Aimee’s first day at kinder, I simply couldn’t, no matter how I tried to. I could maybe ease myself a bit (“she’d be just fine, it’s just kinder” thought), but I definitely wouldn’t be able to simply “forget” or “ignore”. I am her mother, who takes care of her since she was a little baby fit enough in my arm and who tend to every little things of her needs to this date. And now to see that it is time for her to step out further from the comfort of my own presence and from her own home – I just cannot ignore.
Now, how much more for God who “created my inmost being, who knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13)?
“Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, You right hand will hold me fast” (Psalm 139:7-10)
Yet still, I am often afraid of “new milestones” that happen and can happen in life. It’s as if I’d be facing them all by myself, withouth the great God who has known everything before they happen and no matter what He always stands besides me.
Why so much fear and worry?
Human has no formula to erase fear and worry completely in life. We can try to buy things or be with someone to ease those feelings, but they are just temporary solutions.
You know the “precaution” statement at the end of every medicine ad in TV or radio, “if the symptoms persist please go see doctor”. If we still live in worry and fear do we still keep running to things and people although they can only “heal” us for a while? Something must have changed. We need to go see the Doctor of all doctors.
The Bible says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18)
I believe in what the verse says, only Perfect Love can drive out fear, and human let alone things do not have that “perfect love”. Only God has in the person of Jesus Christ.
While only knowing this truth doesn’t really change me. I still can be afraid and worry. I need to experience the love for my mind and life be completely transformed, little by little. I may still be afraid to “let go and let God” over things, but I depend on and hope so much God’s love will gradually erasing my fears, one by one, just like constant flow of water erodes the hard stone over time.
That may sound not a “definite answer” as that Perfect Love may not drive out all life fears at once, not that He is not able, but because the Holy Spirit who is a very gentle person, needs us to work together.
So, at this stage I am waiting for God’s love to struck me. I need to experience Him more. I am waiting. Until then, He cares and will always care for every milestone you and I will go through. I can’t wait for that perfect love overwhelmes me and cast away fears in my heart.
Be eager, be anticipating. Experience Him in ways we never expect or imagine.
Xx Natalia 🙂