(Today’s post is quite long, I must say it is one of those significant moments in my journey following Christ).
Going back to the devotional I read on the March 8 this morning, because the truth is awakening and I feel like this is the first time I have my thoughts explained in words so descriptively, and I need to digest it more thoroughly.
Sometimes I have this worry and “fear” that I still don’t get God’s characters right after all the years I follow Him.
It’s so easy for us to be trapped inside our own bubbles of theology.
“Theology” is not something that only priests and church leaders have or get to understand. Every one of us has our own view of who God is, and that is the theology we actually live in, not really what the church or our cell group leaders teach us to believe.
I still often think that as God’s children, I “deserve” easier life. When I experienced difficult circumstances for quite a long period, I pleaded God over and over “Lord I need Your grace”. But still I have to endure the hard situation/s for months, some for many many years. Then where is the GRACE?
Does that mean that I am not experiencing grace when I don’t receive the relief that I need yet?
This is where my eyes been opened. Apparently the “grace” that I was asking is the “grace of relief/grace of release“. Like when Paul asked God three times to set him free from the thorn of flesh, and God answered him instead that His grace is more than enough for him, YET the thorn remained.
Yes, this is the view that I apparently see and live in, my own “incorrect” bubble of theology.
I cannot define God’s grace according to what I want or think right. That way I leave space for disappointment toward God whenever my prayers don’t get answered the way I’d want them to be (regardless how “good” they may be).
When God allows me to endure difficult situation just so I can learn to TRUST Him more, that is GRACE.
When He allows me to endure hard circumstances and people just so I can be TRANSFORMED more into like His Son, that is grace.
When you think of the word of “grace”, what do you really expect from God?
So much to chew on this truth, and so much more to live them in.
May we be courageous enough to find and to live in the truth, no matter how unpleasant sometimes they can turn out to be.