This photo was taken on Dec 14th 2019, the night before my mum’s funeral, moment before her coffin was closed, and I wailed because of the immeasurable sadness that I no longer could hug or touch her physical body anymore.
The journey then throughout year 2020 wasn’t easy.
I lost my job in May, added on top of the still fresh wound of losing my mum just made the process undergone it worst.
There was a broken relationship with someone who meant so much to me;
so broken and painful that I had to undergo many months filled with uncertainty, fear, questions, and doubts.
There also was another different kind of grief;
my other loved one has lost faith and decided to walk away from the narrow door.
Again, more questions “how could it be”, more confusing thoughts “what ifs” and “whys”, and many more “Please, Lord”.
There were also pain as in literally physical pain, some accidents happened involving my husband and I myself in two separate occasions.
It’s “funny” that at the beginning of the year 2020 my “word of the year” is WORSHIP. And yet there were many I listed in the “griefs” column when I did my reflection.
But I guess that is the reason of why the word WORSHIP came to be my anchor, it is there to remind me WHO is still in control of my life, it is there to remind me who and where I should put my hope and be the safe place of my comfort and refuge.
In my painful moments noone could understand it fully, not even my own husband, the closest person to me. And now I can see that this is actually a “good” thing.
This is to remind me that it is only Him who understands me the most.
Others(creations), were never designed to satisfy my heart and be the source of my hope and comfort.
Yes, God can use them to comfort and strengthen me like they have had and I am so thankful for each one of them.
But HE is the One I need to worship and fix my eyes and faith unto.
Some years will feel abundant, others may have moments and seasons of loss and suffering. Find rest in Christ, o dear weary and worried souls.
The Lord wants to sit with you and comfort you,LET HIM.
It is grace and grace alone that can make this kind of peaceful, sweet surrender possible for each of us.
We don’t know what year 2021 will be, but rest assured the invitation to the Grace always opens.
Won’t you be reaching out and respond to that grace?
My Thoughts... My Life... 