“Finding a House is as Much Difficult as Finding a Soul Mate

“Finding a house is as much difficult as finding a soul mate” – Natalia Wijaya

Which one is The One?

Yes, it is my personal comment based on my experiences lately, feel like been riding an up-and-down emotional rollercoaster. For a little bit of background, you may want to read my earlier post in November 2012 “Wedding Anniversary Gift from the Lord” about my testimony of how I can end up being here in Melbourne 🙂

In Jakarta both of us had to work and might be difficult for us to have much saving yet at least we have had our own apartment. Here, I can enjoy the privilege of taking care of Aimee by myself and we personally feel we can enjoy much better value-for-money entertainment and living standard in Melbourne but we don’t own a house. We have known it’d be a huge challenge for us once we moved here. Yet as we walked along through God’s opened doors, I’d always proclaim my faith “if God brings us here, He will not work half way. He will provide for us everything including a house of our own“, and how much I want to trust Him in a difficult situation like now.

We have just had an experience close to agreeing to buy a house & land package from one developer (we have put a deposit to show our interest in securing the land and have met their finance staff to discuss our loan options-for us that is very close in tying our knot to either the right or wrong path) – before then we decided not to proceed, just tonight.

Before then, I have to ‘suffer’ from the dilemmas and “what if” questions, enough to making me not be able to sleep well. The process made me emotionally tired, as I was really confused waiting for God’s answer whether that house was ‘the one’ or not, it was a thin line between we moved by our own wills or God’s wills.

So, my statement above (making the process in finding a house to be very much similar with the process I had to go through before I decided to be with my now husband), is based on the following circumstances 😛

1. You can’t always tell whether ‘it’ (as in ‘the house’) or ‘your spouse’ (he/she) is the one from the first encounter 

Some people were lucky if they could, and I used to hope I could have that “instinct” or probing from Holy Spirit too when I first met my husband, but “sadly” it wasn’t that easy for me. However, as my journey in finding a house still continues, I hope I can!! (I dunno, maybe within the first minutes we talk to the agent, or within first seconds entering the house (if it’s a second). By the way, you are welcomed to visit my other blog to read the story of how I met my husband 😛 *blush*

2. Better to suffer heartbreaking moments before you move into a more serious relationship (as for the house, before you sign any contract. As in term of relationship, personally for me before you even agree to be his/her girlfriend/boyfriend. But of course what is more vital is, before you say that “I DO” 🙂 )

It is disappointing indeed for me when we finally decided not to proceed with the house as we had given our time and effort (plus that emotional burden by having that sort of dilemma), as much disappointing and hurtful as to be in a close relationship with someone but then turns out things don’t work out between you two, but hey, it is truly better to withdraw now than later when it’s too late!

3. May have to undergo a “wide array of selection” before you eventually meet the right one

These paragraphs I quote from my other blog about how I met my husband desribe it best haha…

“October 5th 2008 – That day he finally told me he wanted to be closer to me more than just a friend. I couldn’t remember whether I was happy or surprised, back then I didn’t know what to expect. That wasn’t the first time a man told me his feeling and asked me to be his girlfriend, it has happened many times before. For some I agreed to give a think and pray for a decision within a certain period (always ended up for ‘No’), while for the rest I just straightforwardly knew the answer would also be ‘No’.

For this one?

I didn’t know what I should answer and do. A part inside my heart said, “Ah, not again, the ‘cycle’ is happening again! Maybe it’d be just like the others, for not more than a month later the answer eventually would be a ‘No’.

But on that night somehow I just found that God was my hiding place. I didn’t know what I should pray or ask to God related with this issue. I just knew He would be the place where I could find the answer and He would guide me in making the decision”.

Reminder for myself: do not give up in finding my future ‘anointed house’!!!

Same principle applies in finding the dream house 😛

4. Both requires HUGE leap of faith

Sure you may have liked what you see (“the offer, deal, house type” vs. “the person’s character, background”) but you are not  able to find out “the real it/him/her” unless you make that first step, a huge step of faith that is. Would there be something wrong in the house which might be only found out after we move into it? Would I be able to accept his/her weaknesses which may arise later when we are into a more serious relationship? Would he/she change after we get married? etc etc

5. It is very rare to get 10 out of 10 from your “perfect house/spouse list” all’s checked, necessary adjustment has to be made as long as it does not overrule your most important value or principle

I used to write a list for my ‘future dream husband’ (knowing what your criteria is helping you a lot in deciding one from the “wide array of selection” I’m talking about at above. I forgot the complete list already and only remember the ‘important parts’, it was written in one of my diaries stored in my parents’ house in Jakarta) and my husband scored 7 out of 10 hahaha… Now when he annoys me, I tend to focus more on those 3 that he’s lack of and forgetting the other 7!! *ups* 😛 But on our ‘high’, I know I am with him for right reasons and he scored all the ‘3 very principle things that my future husband should have’ lol :-*

6. Don’t go for it at the first hand if you have known the house/he/she is “just not for you“

We have set a certain budget and we won’t make ourselves a fool by approaching a house that is way exceeding the budget range, we won’t even ask for more information from the agent, why would we waste our time and energy finding for more information for something that we cannot afford even though how beautiful the house may seem? For me before I was with my husband, this verse is my ‘limit’: “Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark?” (2 Corinthians 6:14) and I used to bear in my mind, “not all Christians are Christ-followers” 🙂

Well… maybe I can add some other points for the comparison, but I gotta go to sleep 🙂 After making that decision of letting it go, we both are more relieved now…. God may have saved us from a huge mistake… I know, because now I can sleep well again and I can feel that peace in my heart, at least I can save that dilemma for another time (still hoping we will get that hunch when we meet our future house!!) and back to the basic: “if God brings us here, He will not work half way. He will provide for us everything including a house of our own” I proclaim that God won’t fail us!

Have any encouraging stories or comments related with my story? 🙂

My Desire – To Become Proverbs 31’s Woman :)

When I was still single, whenever I read Proverbs 31 describing characteristics of a godly woman/wife/mother in front of God’s eyes, I felt very inspired, yet overwhelmed at the same time. How could I be so “perfect”? Fast forward years later, reading an article yesterday written by Jennifer Heeren “A Guide to True Beauty” from Crosswalk Devotional, I am even more overwhelmed…!

A virtuous wife is a treasure.

Her husband can trust her. He will have all he needs. She makes him look good all the days of her life.

She isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. She works. She seeks to have a home filled with a variety of foods. She often gets up when it is still dark to begin her day. Food abounds to her household.

She is business-minded and invests in things that profit her home.

She keeps herself healthy and strong for her everyday tasks. She perceives that her life and home are good.

She is content.

She speaks with kind and helpful words and seeks to help all the people around her, not just her family.

Her household can weather the vicissitudes of the journeys ahead.

She dresses with care and even flair. She makes herself attractive for her husband.

She helps him be the kind of man that others look up to and respect.

She keeps herself busy and clothes herself with dignity. She conducts herself as a child and disciple of God.

She rejoices for the future because she does the work of today. She speaks with wisdom and kindness. She guards her household and protects them with prayer.

Her children bless her and her husband praises her. They think she is the best of all women. She knows that charm can be deceitful. She is aware that outer beauty slips away along with the years but inner beauty grows with every wrinkle.

A lifetime of fruit will be evident when she stands in front of her great God.

Above is the free translation from the Proverbs 31, amazed? You might not expect the Bible would describe ‘women’s world’ with that kind of detail right. Reading the free translation ease me in understanding how my role as a wife and mother should be, if not also putting more pressure on me. Yes, I am working and business-minded (pretty much), do dress with care (or sometimes not :P), managing food abounds in my home especially for Aimee (as my hubby would be more flexible for late lunch or take aways).. but how about She often gets up when it is still dark to begin her day? (why waking up when Aimee’s crying in the middle of night already feel so difficult? or wake up earlier to read the Bible feel so heavy?) She perceives that her life and home are good? She is content? (hello, stop complaining and comparing myself with ‘the neighbors whose grass is greener’), She speaks with kind and helpful words and seeks to help all the people around her, not just her family? (instead of being rude, impolite, and only focusing on the greater wealthiness of my own family),

and personally with my husband, She makes him look good all the days of her life (instead of complaining about him to my best friend of how annoyed I am sometimes), He will have all he needs (sharing partner when I am not so stubborn?), They think she is the best of all women (will my husband and daughter say I am the one?)…

Lord, I am still far away from what You are willing me to be, but this article has inspired me a lot and I see that not as a burden, but more of God’s way in helping me to be more ‘perfect’ for my husband (and daughter). The article is also quite practical, it gives tips and more insights than I previously have known. I shall discuss it in the next entry 😉

For now, as Heeren also wrote, the qualities described in the Proverbs 31 are not a daily to-do list and don’t happen overnight. These qualities come to fruition gradually over a lifetime.

No one day will be perfect, nothing worthwhile will come easy, and not everything will go right all the time. With prayer and the Holy Spirit’s help, you can see more and more of these qualities in yourself. They grow as you seek to follow God, not when you follow a to-do list perfectly.

For single ladies, Heeren also gives this advice:

Even before marriage, you should act in ways that would bring respect to a future mate. Anything you do as a single can affect a marriage later on. When you are with your husband, you will discuss the past. Everyone, married or single, has a husband in Jesus and your life should respect Him, as well.

Hope the article and my sharing can bless you all today, as the Holy Spirit convicts your heart in the same way like He does to me 🙂

First Role of A Wife

Thank God for This Family 🙂

“First Role of a Wife”

“All the married ladies! All the married ladies! All the married ladies! All the married ladies! Now put your hands up! Wo o o, wo o o o, wo o o o o” Singing to the tunes of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” hahaha…

Well, only an intermezzo before I share this one with you. This time what I share is more exclusively to married ladies (but of course single ladies are still welcomed to equip themselves from now on) 😛

There is a saying that “behind every great man is an even greater woman”. For me this statement does not merely present prominent pride for the woman, but also (and most importantly), an inherent meaning of how both man and woman is designated for being supportive toward one and another.
Of course I am very proud being considered as the ‘main subject’ when my husband once complimented me with this saying, but after I take some time to ponder on, my husband is equally important to be considered as the main subject also.
As God’s words in Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NIV) says, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor”, the writer also agrees that the main important subject is neither the man nor the woman, but both of them.
For me, the above saying shows how man and woman (husband and wife) stand together in unity to bring out the best from one and another. No one is more conspicuous than the other; each one has a designated role from God, and when both of them are able to fulfill each of their purpose within a family, a wonderful marriage with Christ as the Head will be established as the result.

From many of my roles as a wife, recently God reminds me once again of the most prominent one, to be the Prayer Tower of this family.

This reminder relates with my recent experience (our current struggle and dilemma) which below I’m going to share with you.
It’s been more than two months my hubby often come home very late from work ever since he works in banking (when I say ‘very late’, it is VERY LATE. Think that finishing work at 9 pm has already overworked? Well, most of days my husband go home at 12 am and even later than that (the record hit at 3.30 am!:( )
This is completely a new experience for both of us. He never had overworked that much (crazy, sick, much!) and I also never had to wait for him until that late (crazy, sick, late!) Even though now I have had Aimee, I admit I still feel alone sometimes without my husband, and how I wish to spend quality time with him and Aimee together more often. Whenever he’s able to go home early is like winning a door prize for me.

During the time of waiting, I often get furious and annoyed. My resentment will go double because I know nothing I can do to change the situation. Complaining and getting angry will even make me more stress. I question God ‘why did He give him this job’ and when I’m caught in desperation I’d say to my husband “just quit and find another job!” However, deep in my heart, I also know this job is for him and it is not his time yet to change his workplace. My spirit discerns there is something more that God wants us to learn from our current situation.
So, nothing I can do much especially when God seems to say, “Carry on, you’ll see nothing will go in vain” I can only OBEY and hold on to His promise and beautiful plan for me and my husband.

One day (on 1st November, to be exact, that day when “the record of 3.30 am” was hit), I couldn’t contain myself anymore. I spat my hatred about his job and his boss at 4 am to my husband and saying “I had no hope to begin a new day tomorrow because I couldn’t bear to have another moment of waiting” (me in my dramatic mood-this is not good). Surprisingly my husband’s response is, “Honey, don’t say that because it will only bring me down. Just be patient. There is time for everything”

The morning after, Holy Spirit reminded me of how my words as a wife have great power for my husband! Proverbs 25:11 says, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver” and Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”
Every words that are spoken by our tongue has a very significant impact toward people around us, especially people who are closest to us!

I could hear Holy Spirit’s still voice in my heart saying, “Step on faith and leap higher to be more like Christ” (‘Berpijaklah pada imanmu, melompat lebih tinggi agar menjadi semakin sama dengan Yesus’)
Faith is my stepping stone in doing all things that go align with God’s will, without faith I can do nothing while with faith, everything that I do can mean something!
Faith can move God’s heart, faith can do anything beyond our dreams! FAITH is the start to be prayer tower for my family!
It doesn’t require any complicated things. I don’t have to be a ‘super wife’ first to support my husband in prayer.

Now I become more understand why a husband’s role generally is defined as ‘priest’ while a wife’s is as ‘the prayer tower’. It doesn’t mean husbands don’t have to pray (part of a priest’s duty is of course to pray as well). My husband always pray for me and Aimee, he specifically lay his hand on me and our baby and bless us individually. Yet, I still feel the responsibility to pray for each and every detail by large goes on me, and I don’t mind. God has a gift for every woman to generally have a more sensitive heart compared with men. Women tend to care for details, is much more a planner and a visionary. I realize these are God’s unique gifts for women and we have to utilize it well whenever we pray for our family!
Our prayer can be a lot more specific, in details, and using our faith we can visualize God’s dreams and wills in our life to speak prophetic words into many other people’s life (including for our husband and kids).

With prayer I support my husband in ‘backstage’; with action he leads this family in ‘front stage’. All these based on faith. We do this hand-in-hand and all these make us a team, God’s team!

So, I really thank God for this revelation which has changed the way I react now if my husband comes late from work (although like I said, I’ll be very very happy like winning a jackpot if he’s tango :P)

To summarize, returning to the saying I quote earlier “Behind every great man is an even greater woman”? For me, “Behind every great man and woman, there is an even greater God”

May God bless each one of your relationships in Him 🙂

CrunchyNat©; Inspired by Holy Spirit; Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

“To be a Praying Mother”

Today I learn something… And also getting to know another desire that God has put in my heart, which is to be a praying mother for my children.. To bless them by my prayers, love, & commitment..

It all started this morning, when I met my mom just for a couple of minutes at her house before I left to work. Last night I also met her when I dropped by to play with my niece. From those two occurrences, she has made three negative comments about my pregnancy (and I think those comments aren’t valid-according to my faith in Christ as well as logically based on doctor’s comment).

I admit I was annoyed by those negative comments. Instead of speak blessings, judgment and critics flowed out from her mouth so easily (and I have to admit too, I’ve been struggling to face this ‘trait’ of her for a long time, I feel it’s getting even worst during the last year). I cannot understand why her comments are always negative…

Then suddenly God opened my heart and mind when I was in the car thinking of what just happened…
All of her negative comments must come out of her heart. The problem is her HEART. Bad and negative things happened in her life have shaped her mind into what it is now…
I have been blessed because I have known Christ personally and He is the One who is continuously renewing my mind with His words.. Otherwise, I think more or less I would be the same with her!
And this knowledge and experience of Christ is all by grace.. Nothing I can be proud of!

The important lesson here is, having a mother as Christ’s believer truly make a difference! SHOULD or, even MUST make a difference!
Out of every Christ’s believers’ mouth should come out words of blessings and encouragement!
And I am sure this will make a great influence in the child’s life too, since his/her young age.

I may not experience having a mother who can encourage me with her words, but I have a desire for my children to have one. I have a desire to be the kind of mother whom I always long for, for my own children… 🙂

Bless and empower me Lord, to be a praying mother who blesses my children with my prayers, love, & commitment. It’d be my greatest joy if one day I could hear this from them,
“My mom is my role model. She has a great faith and has faithfully guided me in the way of truth. I am so blessed by her“

For All Women Out There ;)

Who said becoming women is easy or easier than men?

I’ve just read this article by John Piper, one of my fave authors, and these are the challenges that women of God have to face (girls, embrace yourself! 😉 ):

1. That all of your life—in whatever calling—be devoted to the glory of God

2. That the promises of Christ be trusted so fully that peace and joy and strength fill your soul to overflowing

3. That this fullness of God overflow in daily acts of love so that people might see your good deeds and give glory to your Father in heaven

4. That you be women of the Book, who love and study and obey the Bible in every area of its teaching. That meditation on Biblical truth be the source of hope and faith

5. That you be women of prayer, so that the Word of God would open to you; and the power of faith and holiness would descend upon you; and your spiritual influence would increase at home and at church and in the world

6. That you be women who have a deep grasp of the sovereign grace of God, that you be deep thinkers about the doctrines of grace, and even deeper lovers and believers of these things

7. That you be totally committed to ministry, whatever your specific role, that you not fritter your time away on soaps or ladies magazines or aimless hobbies. That you redeem the time for Christ and his Kingdom

8. That, if you are single, you exploit your singleness to the full in devotion to Christ and not be paralyzed by the desire to be married

9. That, if you are married, you creatively and intelligently and sincerely support the leadership of your husband as deeply as obedience to Christ will allow; that you encourage him in his God-appointed role as head; that you influence him spiritually primarily through your fearless tranquility and holiness and prayer

10. That, if you have children, you accept responsibility with your husband (or alone if necessary) to raise up children who hope in the triumph of God, sharing with him the teaching and discipline of the children, and giving to the children that special nurturing touch and care that you are uniquely fitted to give

11. That you not assume that secular employment is a greater challenge or a better use of your life than the countless opportunities of service and witness in the home the neighborhood, the community, the church, and the world.

That you ask: Which would be greater for the Kingdom— to be in the employ of someone telling you what to do to make his business prosper, or to be God’s free agent dreaming your own dream about how your time and your home and your creativity could make God’s business prosper? And that in all this you make your choices not on the basis of secular trends or yuppie lifestyle expectations, but on the basis of what will strengthen the family and advance the cause of Christ.

12. That you step back and (with your husband, if you are married) plan the various forms of your life’s ministry in chapters. Chapters are divided by various things (very important!)—age, strength, singleness, marriage, employment choices, children at home, children in college, grandchildren, retirement, etc. No chapter has all the joys. Finding God’s will, and living for the glory of Christ to the full in every chapter is what makes it a success.

13. That you never forget that life is short, that billions of people hang in the balance of heaven and hell every day, that the love of money is spiritual suicide, that the goals of upward mobility (nicer clothes, cars, houses, vacations, food, hobbies) are a poor and dangerous substitute for the goals of living for Christ with all your might.

14. That in all your relationships with men you seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in applying the Biblical vision of manhood and womanhood. To understand your unique role as what I call “gracious leadership”, a leadership which involves elements of protection and care and initiative.

15. That you see Biblical guidelines for what is appropriate and inappropriate for men and women in relation to each other.

Spend some time to think about those challenges and roles that God has offered for us. Surely women are unique. If God has loved us so much, surely even much more we deserve from men, but don’t chase after their approval! It is your right, to be loved. Women are not beggars hihihi… We are indeed valuable human being, beautifully created, fearfully and wonderfully made by our mighty God 🙂

God bless all my girlfriends 😉