“The First One with Me in the Delivery Room”

As weeks approaching my delivery date getting closer #hellodedeAimee 👶🏻 there are times when worry and anxious thoughts crowd my mind.

Second time pregnancy doesn’t guarantee “I know all” as the experience is still different compared with my first one (eg. physical discomforts that I didn’t have when I was pregnant with Aimee, getting used to the medical shared-care system here in Australia, and what-yet-to-come-next the delivery procedure itself, etc etc). 

Sometime I think it may be better for the first time pregnancy as I didn’t really know much = less expectations. 

However, uncertainty in life is inevitable.

Thankfully my Lord knows all my thoughts and everything in my heart. Couple of days ago when I was awaken at 1.30am and couldn’t get back to sleep, I turned to my pregnancy devotional, and found this promise of God from Deut 31:8.

The devotional itself discussed at first the option we could have to request someone to join the mother in the labor/delivery process (well I didn’t think of this at all, as I did an emergency caesarean with Aimee when I was in Jakarta – I wasn’t given the option to have my husband be with me at that time). But regardless of who we invite to the room, GOD HIMSELF will be in the delivery room with me, as promised at the above verse!

WOW! What a powerful promise and assurance He’s given me!
His promise may not erase my fears all at once, but it makes a GREAT difference whenever I am being attacked with one. I can recall and speak out loud His promise! 

His promise and words always arrive in time. I can only surrender all to Him; that’s what gives me the peace and strength I need. 

#crunchynatsjournal

“Am I There Yet? Am I There Yet?”

God bless our little family 🙂

Yesterday I experienced a ‘hormon chaos’, that’s what I myself refer to as I didn’t quite understand myself… All day long I felt so easy to cry, gloomy, unmotivated, bored… Well, there was something happened that triggered the tears but I shouldn’t cry as much as yesterday because it was just over something trivial… And by the end of the day I cried again on my hubby’s shoulder, telling how I felt like a kid to her dad.. Thank you so much honey for being understanding yesterday..

I’m entering my almost-40-weeks-pregnancy now! I thought my turn would be on week 38 too, same like my cousin’s wife, my highschool friend, and two of my church friends (yes August & September are crowded months! Hahaha) and I’m getting bored of people asking ‘When’s your turn? Is it not yet?? When? When??’ I feel I wanna shout ‘I also don’t knowwwwww!!'(۳ ˘̶̀,˘̶́ )۳ hahaha.. Sorry friends, I know you all asked that out of caring heart, but I myself have been kinda impatient too!!! Hihihi… If the baby’s here all my friends will be made sure to see my ongoing updated status and profile picture in my Blackberry, Facebook & Twitter! 😛

Well, this is another lesson to trust on God’s timing… I & my hubby have prayed for the baby to be born on His perfect timing. Because I want to give birth naturally, all I can do is ‘wait, watch & pray’. Another thing is, we’ve been praying for the baby to be born on weekend, just so my hubby can take me to the hospital (noone else if God’s willing, although my mom will be on guard too), I so want him to be beside me during the process, from the beginning until the delivery…

Listening ‘tips’ from my friends&relatives who have given birth naturally are very helpful, so does with reading first-year-baby guiding book, I feel God is helping me preparing my heart just like what I asked Him to. I thought I would be ready should the baby arrived at week 38, and when turned out she didn’t, I have to be patient in my waiting, and unexpectedly I become more prepared each day. Although I become impatient sometimes, I am reminded it is my own prayer for the baby to arrive at HIS time…

Another thing is, my hubby’s new job is so demanding… This whole week he’s been working overtime (one til midnight 12 o’clock! The earliest he came home so far was 9.30 pm… I feel I wanna cry!!!)
Especially tonight, we had planned to have a nice dinner together thinking he could go home at ‘normal working hours’ then his boss asked him to stay because there’s still work to do 😥 so not fun hiks… I miss our quality time… I keep thinking if the baby’s here a lot of things will change and I have to be able to adapt to the new situation, responsibilities, and roles… Can I manage it……? 😦

This week my patience is really tested… And every now and then I failed 😦
Lord, please forgive me if my response in action & words have not pleased You… I know these are all to work more the fruit of joy and patience of Holy Spirit in my life, but sometimes it’s hard for me to ‘pass the test’… I’m sorry, Lord…

I am indeed excited to welcome this wonderful gift from God! Yet I have to admit my heart is troubled with anxieties now… Uncertainty with what I will face too, becoming a mother…

Dear Lord, please help me by the power of Your Holy Spirit to change, to be more like Your Son… Thank You for Your grace and love, for always welcoming my weaknesses without complaining, for understanding me and my deepest thoughts and dilemmas, for helping me to change to the better… I don’t know what I can do if I don’t have You alongside me… I can only say thank You God…

⌣»̶·̵̭̌✽✽✽·̵̭̌«̶⌣
Your daughter

Baby’s Essential :)

Care what to buy for your newborn baby and was clueless like me before? 😛 I’m not promoting the website but it is very useful 🙂 So, have a read of this Baby’s Essential Need

😉

“Miracle does Still Exist”

Last Friday was my last day before my long 4-months maternity leave, n’ just right before Lebaran holiday. My hubby have one week holiday too ’til next Monday, so really thank God for quality time & days we can enjoy together 😉
Last night we, with my mom & younger bro, spent a quality time dinner together too and I really thank God for this rare moment.. Wish my dad can join too..

Anyway, this morning when I wake up and meditate upon His words, God brought my mind to remember all the goodness He’s done for the last couple of months.. God has delivered us from our problems and have given us ‘more room to breathe’ now.. Really praise Him! I remember there were two occassions in which I could really feel God’s deliverance.. They are really God’s miracles for both of us.. Just in time. Although I wished it could come earlier, when God’s time arrived eventually it IS just perfect & beautiful..

Another thing I’d like to share with you now,
I love musics..In many hard phases in my life so far, specific songs always be a remark in the end when finally I got through the difficult times by God’s grace… For example, for the last couple of months, Pak Niko’s CD “Mukjizat Masih Ada” really encouraged me a lot to keep going through the challenges. Honestly, God has used the songs to strenghten me & my hubby. Those are simple songs sung with no complicated vocal note. However, it’s proven – for a song to have a strong anointing power, it doesn’t really depend on the vocal, musical arrangements, or deliberate keynote. Sure they are all important, but a song that is “simply nice” or “anointed” is just different – your heart and spirit can tell, more than what your ears could enjoy.
And I praise God how He has used one CD to bless me a lot 🙂
I suggest to really choose right whatever music you listen to, because just like what the Bible says, ‘Faith comes from hearing, hearing the word of God’.

Well, that is for now. I’m counting days to come for my delivery (my cousin’s whose due date was only two weeks away from mine have given birth to a wonderful baby boy yesterday!). Meaning I have to be ready soon!
Please Lord, I need Your grace to endure all the labor process… I need Your presence to be there with me. Give me Your divine peace & comfort. In Jesus’ name.
Thank You so much Lord 🙂

The time is coming soon :)

Last night I visited my high school friend who have just got through her labour and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.. My heart pumped faster as I imagined my time will come soon!
Lord, please grant me Your divine strength & grace.. I’m so excited on the other hand though.. Our sweet baby girl will soon be born into this world and put more color into my little family 🙂
Yesterday me & my hubby went to ITC to buy some more of baby stuffs.. I’m so grateful I’ve got most of the essentials given as presents from my mom & friends (thanks God also for the baby shower held by my close Melbie friend-Dewi). I pray that my life will also be used to bless others in need, so others can also feel God’s love through me..

Praise You, Lord.. For many wonderful works You have done in my life to this date..
Today is also my hubby’s first day at his new workplace.. Bless him abundantly with Your divine wisdom & joy while he works, Your protection and favor will always surround him..

In Between Baby Cribs n’ Other Needs

There’s a lot to be prepared for the newborn-baby soon (2 months to go!), but so far we haven’t prepared anything YET! In between clueless, difficulty in finding time to shop (to ITC – much cheaper than shopping in malls), and being careful in planning our budget and expense..
Nevertheless, step by step I gain many valuable inputs from my work colleagues whom in average have got children, and I thank God for this. I’m planning to custom-made our baby crib too with my friend’s husband (we can save a lot rather than buying one at Mothercare or Cottoniere), and these are some pictures of baby cribs that I love 🙂

Penelope Pink Pottery Barn Baby Crib – would love the underneath drawers to be a lil’ bit higher so we can store more things 😉

Pink Harper Pottery Barns – I have weakness for pinkish baby room 😛

During our financial difficulty like now, every Rupiah counts! Sometimes I grumble and can’t help myself to complain (like last night), at other times I am ‘stronger’ and enjoying the art of saving and buying things wisely. Well, like I said to my husband yesterday, things could go even worse, but we are safe in His mighty hands. He can bring out something good (especially to our innerself -spirit & soul) throughout these challenges.
I’m just very grateful for many caring friends and a faithful husband to be beside me and work all this out together. Some people are unexpectedly giving their help and I’m just amazed by how God’s showing His love through them…
Lord, use me & my husband to be Your hands and feet. So from us they can see Your love too..

Thank You so much God, help us to be faithful towards You alone.
Love You Jesus.

“To be a Praying Mother”

Today I learn something… And also getting to know another desire that God has put in my heart, which is to be a praying mother for my children.. To bless them by my prayers, love, & commitment..

It all started this morning, when I met my mom just for a couple of minutes at her house before I left to work. Last night I also met her when I dropped by to play with my niece. From those two occurrences, she has made three negative comments about my pregnancy (and I think those comments aren’t valid-according to my faith in Christ as well as logically based on doctor’s comment).

I admit I was annoyed by those negative comments. Instead of speak blessings, judgment and critics flowed out from her mouth so easily (and I have to admit too, I’ve been struggling to face this ‘trait’ of her for a long time, I feel it’s getting even worst during the last year). I cannot understand why her comments are always negative…

Then suddenly God opened my heart and mind when I was in the car thinking of what just happened…
All of her negative comments must come out of her heart. The problem is her HEART. Bad and negative things happened in her life have shaped her mind into what it is now…
I have been blessed because I have known Christ personally and He is the One who is continuously renewing my mind with His words.. Otherwise, I think more or less I would be the same with her!
And this knowledge and experience of Christ is all by grace.. Nothing I can be proud of!

The important lesson here is, having a mother as Christ’s believer truly make a difference! SHOULD or, even MUST make a difference!
Out of every Christ’s believers’ mouth should come out words of blessings and encouragement!
And I am sure this will make a great influence in the child’s life too, since his/her young age.

I may not experience having a mother who can encourage me with her words, but I have a desire for my children to have one. I have a desire to be the kind of mother whom I always long for, for my own children… 🙂

Bless and empower me Lord, to be a praying mother who blesses my children with my prayers, love, & commitment. It’d be my greatest joy if one day I could hear this from them,
“My mom is my role model. She has a great faith and has faithfully guided me in the way of truth. I am so blessed by her“

Going to ‘7’

My pregnancy is entering 7 MONTHS in another two weeks!! I have known it’s a…… *drum roll*….. »»» BABY GIRLLL! 🙂

xoxo

Amazingly, I have had a dream of having a baby girl before we got married! In that dream, I even called out her name, pronounced so clearly! When I woke up I searched for that name and turned out it has a very beautiful meaning, depicts my dreams and hopes for this little girl soon-to-be-borned 🙂

As for now, my tummy is getting heavier as the baby grows bigger, I have to be really careful even when I sleep at night so that when I turn my body to the other side, I won’t hurt myself n’ her.. (Cos it did feel hurt in my tummy whenever I carelessly turned to the other side of the bed – fiuhhh)
So far I’ve gained +- 6 kgs, lots of people said my tummy doesn’t look like I’m pregnant for (almost) 7 months haha.. But as long as the baby’s healthy, I am happy 😉 (n’ I don’t have to gain unnecessary extra kgs!)

There are many sweet moments even when she is still in my womb… Whenever my hubby is playing with her, the way she responds by her kicks & knuckles to his and my voice, they’re all feel so wonderful.. And serene… :’)

My prayer for my baby girl,
That she will become a beautiful woman in and outside,
Has a soft and gentle heart, pleasing in God’s eyes,
Be dearly loved by everyone around her; by her family and friends, and most importantly by God Himself…
For her to have a strong faith in Jesus, to experience Him personally since her young age,
Obedience to her parents,
Healthy, cheerful, outgoing, funny, cute, adorable, creative,
Has an incredible singing voice,
Be God’s true worshipper, has a big adorable eyes like my hubby… 🙂

In Jesus name I & my husband pray, AMEN!

Experiencing God’s Multiplication, yahoooo :)))

Soooo.. As I have promised, here is my another testimony following up the first one regarding God’s promotion & multiplication early this year 🙂

The story shall continue within short moment after I got the good news of getting a job at retail..
So, on another day I came again to meet the senior HRD to finalize the salary & contract.. She knew I’ve just got married on November, then she pointed out ‘special rule’ in this company: ‘No Pregnancy is Allowed Within First Year of Work’

Ok, I didn’t know why my heart suddenly felt that ‘strange feeling’. I wasn’t pregnant, but why should I felt that kind of feeling?!
After that meeting, I told my husband everything in a sense of worry and fear.
Now, let me take you back to couple of weeks previously happened before my meeting with the senior HRD (as a part of ‘intimate’ sharing heart-to-heart at the moment :P)

Before we got married on last year November, we had always planned to not straightaway having children. Our reason? Most importantly, we felt we weren’t ready yet financially, we didn’t even have a job yet!!
We just went back from Melbourne, struggling to make our ‘home’ here in Jakarta started from scratch. Maybe some of you didn’t have to experience this, givethanks to God, but for us, it is difficult for us when we cannot depend on anyone at all (including our parents)in helping us settling down here.
We feel we are totally alone, totally on ourselves and relying on God’s grace everyday to make all our needs be fulfilled sufficiently, and He always shows us His amazing help and grace in any ways, how He is so full of love to this little young family!
So, we felt it was only ‘a must’ to postpone our plan having a kid, rather not been able to give the best for him/her later on.

Yet, God amazingly did something in each of me and my husband’s hearts. We felt something wasn’t right but we didn’t really know what we had to do. I asked my church friend who has also got married and was on pregnancy at that time, her answer: ‘If God has brought you this far to ‘a marriage’, He will also provide for you to have children including all the upcoming needs’, wow! That is called faith!

I didn’t know why at that time I also felt the urge to read one book that my brother once gave me before I got married. The title: “Start Your Family: Inspirations for Having Babies” by Steve & Candice Watters (hahaha), and that book almost totally changed my heart at once! (The rest of me still felt the doubt)
It explained the purpose that God has designed for each family & marriage, having kids is part of God’s supreme design! All typical reasons people gave when they delayed having kids were explained (I thought, hey that’s me! That’s what I’m thinking too!! So what do I have to do?), and the book was so succesfully convinced me (I think GOD was using the book to change my heart) that those reasons cannot be used as an excuse to not bring God’s will for every marriage on this earth (Genesis 1:28).

There started to rise deep inside my heart a desire to have a child… :’)

Plusss.. I still remember that conversation in the kitchen with my husband (but vaguely for the exact words he used), +- it went like this: ‘Honey, I feel God’s telling me to not be afraid to have a kid now. It is a blessing, why we have to be afraid and reject what God has called as a blessing for us?’

So.. All of those happened only weeks before I got the interview at GI.. And when I heard the senior HRD about the so-called rule, my heart pumped faster. Somehow I knew I had the probability of being pregnant by then!
After a day or two of prayer, God had strengthened my heart for whatever result it might come.
On Sunday, 16 January I knew I am pregnant!!!!! Hihihihihihihi \(`▽´)/
The feeling was… Pretty much mixed at first! Surprised, ‘shocked’, then joy overwhelmed me, I laughed at myself! Hahaha…
I just had the confidence God wouldn’t bring me this far to the miraculuos process of the interview then left me stranded, I knew He has plan!
If I had to choose either the job or the baby, of course I’d choose the baby!! That’s an obvious answer!

So, on Tuesday I met my boss and told her the truth. To my amaze, she did all she could to speak to the management at higher level to ‘abolish the rule’!!! And… I still get the job!!! Hallelujah!!! \(`▽´)/

I know without God’s favour all of this wouldn’t happen! And never for a minute I regret what has happened to this far… The experience of having ‘miracle of life’ inside me (my womb) is beyond wordsss!
My love for the baby over weeks is getting bigger and bigger too, I feel like I wanna hug his/her so tight already! 😛
Thank You Lord for allowing me experiencing Your miracles!

Now my pregnancy is 18 weeks already *blinking eyes hihihihihi…

Our God is so great, isn’t He!?

Well, I have other stories to follow, stories that by the time I share with you I will share it victoriously (right now I’m still facing big struggle over this matter, please pray for me friends…)

Til then, God is gooddddd (and forever and ever) :)))