Word of The Year 2016

 

begin our day with Jesus 🙏🏻☺️

 
My “word of the year” last year was “BELIEVE”, and when I asked God what will it be for this year 2016, somehow the word “FAITH” keeps ringing in my head. 
At first I thought that word was too “cliché”, I’ve heard it and have it referred soo many times it’s like countless! Yet there is a deeper desire to really “live out” the word, to really “live by faith“. Not as a ‘Christian slogan’, but to really understand its meaning and let my life be totally changed by the renewed perspective of faith!
If I do what I do now, what is the motivation behind? Is it merely “by default”, “a good thing to do”, OR do I really do it because I have FAITH in God (this applies to EVERY daily activities I do in and for Him). 

Can I trust Him more, can I surrender every aspect of my life – because of FAITH? 
Knowing only FAITH can please God (Heb 11:6) and not our offerings, good deeds, or else, it is crucial to begin just right from this point. 
Anyway, Happy New Year 2016 everyone!! Wish you all a blessed year filled with abundant of His blessings, providence and protection 🙏🏻 (This is my first scribble entry on my new Journaling Bible btw, see my testimony how I received it miraculuously from my previous post 😁) 💞💞💞

“Why Bother Writing A Blog?”

As much as I love reading, I also love writing, either in piece of short stories (I did many of these especially in my junior high),  short articles or testimonies at church bulletins (I’m wondering why now they don’t distribute any bulletins anymore?), web articles and blog (when I worked as a copywriter in game industry), newsletter and formal letters (in my latest job in retail industry before I moved to Melbourne. This wasn’t in my early job desc when I first joined the company, but God is so good, no matter where I am, seem like there’s always an opportunity for me to channel my passion in writing ), and the most enjoyable is indeed writing this blog as well as my own journal in the secret of my drawer.

Why bother writing this blog when not many people reading it?

I won’t lie, I’m very happy if someone drops a comment or see a particular post hit high views, and I wish the readers would be adding substantially now that I have been writing more often. My greatest pleasure is if people or friends I know letting me know that they enjoy reading my blog and are blessed or simply think “I’m not alone” when they can relate with a particular post I write.

On the other hand, I sometimes feel discouraged if I feel like “I’m writing this blog all alone” (no comments for a while or very low views). However, after thinking logically, this blog is intended for a tool to bless others globally, plus first and the foremost reason I write is because it is my passion! So, whenever I feel discouraged or feel like “is there anybody who actually read this blog? (‘read’ as in not just ‘passing through’)”, I come back and remember this reason again. The result? I don’t even bother again. My purpose writing this blog is not to become popular in eyes of men but because of this, I wasn’t convicted to be famous.

I love writing this blog because I have passion for writing (with limited ability writing in non-primary language) and especially in my full time motherhood life now where I get the chance to write more often, I feel “closer” to this blog just like being closer and more connected to a person.

Anyway, science has also proof that writing journal has many health benefits as following:

• Clarify your thoughts and feelings.

Do you ever seem all jumbled up inside, unsure of what you want or feel? Taking a few minutes to jot down your thoughts and emotions (no editing!) will quickly get you in touch with your internal world.

• Know yourself better.

By writing routinely you will get to know what makes you feel happy and confident. You will also become clear about situations and people who are toxic for you — important information for your emotional well-being.

• Reduce stress.

Writing about anger, sadness and other painful emotions helps to release the intensity of these feelings. By doing so you will feel calmer and better able to stay in the present.

• Solve problems more effectively.

Typically we problem solve from a left-brained, analytical perspective. But sometimes the answer can only be found by engaging right-brained creativity and intuition. Writing unlocks these other capabilities, and affords the opportunity for unexpected solutions to seemingly unsolvable problems.

• Resolve disagreements with others.

Writing about misunderstandings rather than stewing over them will help you to understand another’s point of view. And you just may come up with a sensible resolution to the conflict.

I can really assure you that I have gained all of those benefits from writing my journal since I was in elementary school 😉

For those of you who may think similarly (am I wasting time writing for nothing), the answer is “no“.  Remember your very first reason when setting up your own blog (most often that is an honest, accountable reason which serves as your “mission statement”). Plus, at least you may have gained the above benefits for your own goodness sake.

Just enjoy it 😉

“In Between Bookshelves 225 and 270”

Here I am, in the State Library Swanston St 🙂 Six years staying in Melbourne before I went back for good last year, only once I visit the building and I even stepped in not very far from the entrance 😛 Now, visiting Melbourne once again by grace, I take the chance to write my book in this memorable library. It is huge and historical, this is the best place I can be in writing my book 🙂 I just have to push myself to finish it — to actually act on my dream, and by God’s grace I will be able to complete it and eventually I hope and pray it will bless the readers’ soul.

So, after sitting here for more than 2 hours with my laptop, I’ve finally finished editing all blog entries in October 2005 (the original copy was still in my Friendster blog). My target is to finish editing all entries in my Friendster blog (they are from October 2005-December 2008) this month before then I move to my Facebook notes and of course, entries from this blog too (I begin to write this blog in January 2009). I am writing it all in English for the purpose of my non-Indonesians friends most importantly, to be able to understand God’s work and goodness in my life.

Well, nothing’s big but I do hope that my writing which is inspired by events happened in daily basis will be able to inspire them too. Since English isn’t my primary language, I still need someone to have it double checked (rephrasing may be needed as well). I pray and believe His Holy Spirit wil guide me through and send right people to help me finishing the book, I can’t do it by my own… I welcome your prayer too throughout all of these times 🙂

Quick fact: I was focusing on the editing just now before then I took a break and see my surroundings. To my suprise, the bookshelves just next to my right side is about Christianity! Wuhuuu.. I am here writing about Jesus and next to me is books writing about His greatness too. A very simple coincidence that really excites me 😛

Oh well, I think my time here is up. I urgently need to go to toilet and am very hungry too! 😛 I’ll write again 🙂

Big Dream in Little Me…

Sitting on the couch reading “The Little Red Writing Book” by Mark Tredinnick that I’ve just bought from Borders inspires me a bit to update my blog at the moment… 🙂

I still haven’t forgotten my dream yet, to write a book one day, hoping that ‘one day’ will be coming true this year! (or at least for the next 2 years :P).. and after I get stucked with my novel writing recently (huhuhuhuhu) I’ve found another idea to compile my blog entries that I’ve been writing since the year 2005 into a book.. how that sounds? 😉

I was inspired by Pastor Ayub Yahya’s book “Titik Nol”-one that my cousin gave me before I left to Melbourne, in which it contains his blog entries for about one and a half years.. I’ve read several first pages, the topic revolves around his activities and observations as a pastor in GKI (one of church denominations in Indo)…

So yeah, I am inspired to do similar thing… although I am still not sure whether to write it all in English or Indo… I’ve just got this plan to open up my old archives since 2005 in my Friendster blog, start choosing which entries I want to put those in, editing it (it’d be more difficult if I decided to be in English-all correct grammar without being too rigid, ideally I want the writings “to play a melody” when I and the readers read it-relate to what Tredinnick wrote, “Good writing should sound like the very best of talking; clear, careful, animated, and memorable. Good writing means something fast. It speaks. Sometimes it even sings“)..

Well, I believe, if this dream truly comes from the Lord, He will be the One who provides me the way, His Spirit will be the One who keeps inspiring me, guiding me to write things what’s in His own heart…

Thank You Jesus… nite niteee 🙂

Quotes “Being True to Yourselves”

Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.–Hardy D. Jackson

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.–Pope John XXIII

Flowers do not force their way with great strife. Flowers open to perfection slowly in the sun…. Don’t be in a hurry about spiritual matters. Go step by step, and be very sure.–White Eagle

The greatest thing is, at any moment, to be willing to give up who we are in order to become all that we can be.–Max De Pree

How do the geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans, know when it is time to move on? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within, if only we would listen to it, that tells us so certainly when to go forth into the unknown.–Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

I do not want to die…until I have faithfully made the most of my talent and cultivated the seed that was placed in me until the last small twig has grown.–Kathe Kollwitz

I was once afraid of people saying, “Who does she think she is?” Now I have the courage to stand and say, “This is who I am.”–Oprah Winfrey

It takes years to build up trust, but only seconds to destroy it.
You can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that you’d better know something.
Don’t compare yourself to the best others can do,
But to the best you can do.
It’s not what happens to people that’s important.
It’s what they do about it.
Always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
You control your attitude or it controls you.
It isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
Your background and circumstances may have influenced who you are,
But you are responsible for who you become.
Even if you do the right thing for the wrong reason,
It’s still the wrong thing to do.–Anonymous

Never follow somebody else’s path; it doesn’t work the same way twice for anyone…the path follows you and rolls up behind you as you walk, forcing the next person to find their own way.–J. Michael Straczynski

No star is ever lost we once have seen,
We always may be what we might have been.–Adelaide A. Proctor

We are all born originals–why is it so many of us die copies?–Edward Young

You really have to look inside yourself and find your own inner strength, and say, “I’m proud of what I am and who I am, and I’m just going to be myself.”–Mariah Carey

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.–Carl Jung

Ngobrol-Ngobrol Soal Novel (Dikit aja)…. :)

Hellowwww…

So here I am, sitting down here facing a white wall in my own room with two boxes full of CDs and a sweet frog doll present from my friend at my left side…thinking it’s been a long time since the last time I updated my blog… ukhhhh…

I still regularly updating my Facebook notes though (walo sempet MIA-Missing in Action-for a month :P). Biasanya entry dr FB Note itu bakal aku copas kesini, tp utk bbrp entry blman sih hehe.. Sehrsnya isi blog ini jg lebih personal kali ya..meaning ga hrs sama ma entry2 di note Facebook tp disini lbh ada sedikit ‘sentuhan pribadi’…hihihi… Kayanya jg lebih jarang visitors yg buka nih blog dibanding buka my Facebook page (bener ga sih? rasanya sih iya hahaha) jdnya lebih aman buat share lil bit more personal things disini (kaya mo share apaan aja yah hehehe)..n’ disini kl ada yg mo ksh comment kan msh tetep bisa 😉

Entry kali ini emang byk ngobrol ngalor ngidul aja deh ya…

Hmmm… Begini…. Skrg ini aku lg in progress of writing a novel…. (yeyyyy *ada applause as background sound, applause dr diri gw sndr hahaha :P).. Mulainya sih baru kira2 2 mingguan lalu deh… It is my dream to write a book since 2007, tp akhirnya br skrg bener2 dijalanin… Bukan krn males ato ga brani sih, tp simply krn idenya jg br dapetnya skrg!! hehehe… Tiba2 aja one day that idea came up, sbnrnya jg input dr my lovely bf sih hehe… Pas di-pkr2 bener juga yah… Intinya kan write on smt that I am familiar with… Smt yg diambil atau ditulis dr personal experience biasanya kan jg lbh bs dijiwai yah….

So, jadi deh ide buku ini muncul… (skrg ini udah sampe Chapter 5, sampe brp chapter nih buku bakalan? Aku sndr honestly blm tau, let the fingers type as well as the heart follows *cieeehhhhh…hahahaha…). Yg pasti aku jg udah doa buat inspirasi dan ide2 kreatif dr Holy Spirit, cos this is meant to be a Christian novel meski msh masuk kategori fiksi…

 

This novel will tell a story about a woman at mid 30s, working as a columnist at an international Christian magazine in Jakarta. She has a wonderful husband and one very loveable daughter.

Ceritanya akan berkisar seputar her past, how her relationship with her mom and dad brought her to this stage, as well as her present, konflik2 yg msh dia hrs hadapi yg berkaitan banyak dgn orgtuanya especially her mother.

As u may see, critanya bakal banyak revolved around family life and marriage. Pain, sadness, betrayal, unfaithfulness. Itu smua bkn pilihan si wanita ini, tp memang ga bs dihindari cos she’s still living in this corrupted world.

Wowww… now as I’m writing this, I think I’m ready to write a short preview about this novel soon hahaha… (rough idea-nya slm ini br ada di kepala sndr, tp pengen jg kan ksh short preview-nya gitu ke temen2 biar mrk bs lbh anticipated nungguinnya hihihi :P).. Jd nanti kl udah slesai ditls, preview-nya bakal aku post disini yah 😉 Yg diatas td br sekedar ‘obrolan’ hehehe…

Hmmm…

Segitu dl deh kali ini, ngobrol ngalor ngidul aja soal novel milik sndr..hahaha… Mau mandi dl nih habis itu nungguin roti bakar pesenan dateng pas dd aku udah plg jg (coklat keju ma kornet telor :P)… Td br ikutan nonton “Race to Witch Mountain” ma dia n cwnya (dia blg gw jd ‘kecoak’, udah bukan nyamuk lg >.< hahaha…)

 

Ciaooooooo… 😛

“Open Recruitment-Looking for Loyal & Responsible Males/Females!!”

Please have a read of this short story I wrote 🙂

——–

The boss handed down two manual books, one for Alice, another for Belinda, while saying,
“The CEO has passed these on to me. Being employees in this company you must follow all guidelines written here. Should you not understand something, please ask me straightforward, I’d be more than happy to help”

“How about if I made any mistakes?” asked Alice.

“Oh, don’t worry. If you do your best yet at some points you fail at first, I’d be more than happy to cover it up”

“From who?” asked Belinda.

“From the CEO, of course. He’s very perfectionist. He cannot stand any mistakes”

Fiuhhhh…. sounds so hard already huh?!

“But don’t worry. You will enjoy a wonderful journey working with us. In our company even the employers treat the employees with respect. We view our employees as our partner, not as servants” explained the boss who was still standing in front of Alice and Belinda.

“Any questions?” he continued before they begun their first day.

“So… if any of us made any mistakes, you will cover it up eventhough it isn’t your mistake?” asked Alice hesitantly to clarify.

“Yes”
“Why???” asked Alice and Belinda both at the same time.

“Well, I know you’ll never be as perfect as to my boss’ standard. I understand that so I will just help you out here”

“THANKS!!!!” both of them once again expressed their gratitude with big grins, ready to start a brand new day.

———

Several months passed…..

“Belinda! Why did you make that mistake in your report? Did you do it intentionally?” asked Alice when she saw the latest report Belinda did.

“Errr… Yeahhh…. It was a mistake… I know I shouldn’t do it, but I just didn’t have enough time, I have dinner appointment with my friends so I kinda finished it in a rush, I forgot to look at the manual”

“How could you do that? Now our boss has to be responsible for your mistakes in front of the CEO as this is a very important report! Don’t you remember what he said to us the first day we worked here?”

“Hmmm… sort of….”

“He’ll be the one who covers all our mistakes in front of our so perfectionist CEO! How could you misuse his very kind attitude to us? Afterall, we’ve been working in this company for quite some time, I thought you supposed to know him better including what he expects from us!”

“What does he expect from us?”

“Working together as partners! Full dedication! And he knows we couldn’t do it all right at all time yet he’s willing to help! Surely he expects the same gratitude we gave to him at the first day we worked here, Belinda!”

Belinda was stunned.

“Forgive me Alice, I just realize I don’t really know him then…”

———-

Ok… I use this short story as a simple allegory to describe the truth in 1 John 2, written by apostle John between A.D 85-95 to all early churches and every follower of Jesus at that time.

v.1 “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense–Jesus Christ, the Righteous One“

Can you tell that “the boss” in my story here is actually Jesus? and “the CEO” is God the Father?

I describe the CEO as a perfectionist, one who cannot stand any mistakes. The same goes with God the Father. He is the Most Holy One. He cannot stand any sin, even what you may think the ‘smallest’ one (Hebrews 12:14 “Without holiness no one will see the Lord”).
Yet the boss is willing to stand up for his employees, US, covering our mistakes so God will not release His wrath over us. That’s the purpose of Jesus being crucified, He died not because of His sin, but OUR sins.

v.2 “He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world”

And what Belinda has done here? She claimed herself to know her boss, at least she’s been working at the company for quite some time, she thought she should know her boss. Yet she doesn’t.

v.3-4 “We know we have come to know Him if we obey His commands. The man who says, “I know Him”, but does not do what He commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him”

v.5-6 “… This is how we know we are in Him:
Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did“

Do you choose to be “Alice”? or “Belinda”?
Your call.
The boss knows his employees cannot be perfect at all times, yet he being a good and understanding boss, will definitely appreciate his employees’ efforts.
At the end of the performance review, he will know who has been responsible and loyal, who hasn’t. Who deserves a payrise, who doesn’t.

At the end of judgment day, each of us will stand for our own account.

Acts 17:31
“For He has set a day when He will judge the world with justice by the Man He has appointed.
He has given proof of this to all men by raising Him from the dead”

Oh, and the “manual books” the boss gave during the first day, that is the BIBLE. Everything’s written there, all guidelines about “the company, the CEO and boss’ characters” etc etc… It’s so complete and rich, all employees will surely need it for the rest of their working days in the company! ^^

Now pick your side carefully.
If you’ve been joining this company, please continue your good work and don’t forget to really know your boss! Oh, and read the manual everyday carefully, there might be hidden secret tips or some others that you haven’t applied in order to produce an excellent report for your performance review!

If you haven’t, the recruitment still opens, plenty seats available especially during global crisis! 😉

Ps: maaf yah utk yg namanya ‘Alice’ dan “Belinda’ dipinjam hihihihi…. 😛

Di Kursi Ini…

I wrote this today, I’ve posted it to my other ‘mysterious blog’ first time in this morning haha.. (so far the visitors to that blog have reached 431 since I first created it on February 9th 2009) 🙂

Di pagi hari engkau berjanji akan menghargainya.

Tidak akan engkau menyia-nyiakannya sepanjang hari.

Kau ingatkan dirimu sendiri kalau ia adalah sesuatu yang sangat berharga.

Ia adalah kawah yang menyelubungi segala sesuatu yang engkau sedang dan akan kerjakan.

Engkau bergerak di dalamnya.

Tidak terlihat, tapi ia nyata. Tidak dapat dipegang atau dicengkeram, karena itu ia bisa lolos dengan begitu saja.

Yang harus kau lakukan adalah berjalan seirama dengannya.

Jangan diburu-buru olehnya, ataupun berbalik membatasinya. Mengalirlah bersamanya. Dengan segenap akal budi dan perencanaan yang matang.

Dari hari ke hari engkau akan makin terbiasa. Namun terkadang besar kemungkinan engkau lupa untuk menghargainya.

Jangan sampai kesempatan selanjutnya engkau menyadari akan hal itu adalah saat dimana rambutmu sudah memutih. Tubuhmu sudah tidak sekuat dulu. Impianmu sudah terlanjur buyar.

Sekarang saatnya!

Ingat, jangan dicengkeram, toh ia akan tetap berjalan dan lewat di depanmu. Jangan diburu olehnya, ia adalah ruang gerakmu tapi bukan berarti engkau harus dikuasai olehnya.

Berjalanlah bersamanya. Mengalir, menikmatinya, menghargainya.

Dan ia adalah…  WAKTU.

Tanpa sadar sudah bulan ketiga di tahun 2009 ini… Dengan pengharapan dan rasa optimisme yang besar aku mengatakan pada diriku sendiri kemarin, masih ada waktu sembilan bulan lagi untuk diriku mengalami segala keindahan, kebahagiaan dan keajaiban dalam hidup.

Aku siap, aku antusias. Dan aku tidak sendiri.

“Dia…”

I’ve decided to put some of my writing pieces in this blog too 🙂

I wrote this on February 20th 2009 and posted it first on my other blog (it’s more open to public as it is listed in one of Indonesian biggest blog community but pssstt… my identity in that blog still remains anonymous to this date 😛 Someday I’ll let you know the address hihi…)

——

Ketika kubuka mataku, akankah engkau masih berada disana? Akankah masih kulihat kilau kulitmu yang menyejukkan hatiku? Masih dapatkah aku memegangmu? Memelukmu? Mengecupmu?

Apakah engkau merupakan bagian yang nyata dalam hidupku…? Apakah pertemuan kita seharusnya terjadi? Jika Tuhan memang serba tahu mengapa Ia tetap mengijinkan kita bertemu kalau pada akhirnya kita terseret dalam suatu hubungan yang tidak memungkinkan?

Setiap hari yang kujalani bersamamu indah pada awalnya. Namun lama kelamaan semua ternyata hanya nampak indah pada luarnya. Yang kurasakan sebenarnya rasa sakit. Perih. Pedih. Aku sudah tidak sanggup. Tapi aku tetap mempertahankan engkau. Karena engkau begitu indah…

Kudapatkanmu bukan dengan harga yang murah. Bukan dengan usaha yang mudah. Engkau begitu unik. Aku sadar benar tidak semua orang dapat memilikimu. Engkau mampu mewakilkan segala kepribadianku. Karena itu aku tidak rela melepaskanmu.

Bila aku berjalan bersamamu, semua orang memujiku. Memuji kepintaranku memilih. Memuji bahwa aku pantas bersanding denganmu. Aku tahu aku memang pantas. Tapi rasa sakit yang di kemudian hari kurasakan… Mungkinkah berjalan bersamamu kupertahankan hanya demi menjaga harga diriku…?

Tapi toh suatu hari akhirnya aku menyerah. Aku tidak sanggup lagi. Engkau telah membuatku merasa begitu sakit hingga air mata itu tidak tertahankan lagi. Aku memutuskan aku tidak bisa berjalan bersamamu untuk waktu yang lebih lama lagi. Ini semua harus diakhiri. Aku tidak sanggup. Aku muak berpura-pura!

Kulupakan berapa harga yang telah kubayar untuk mendapatkanmu. Kulupakan betapa sulitnya aku menemukanmu di antara begitu banyak pilihan yang tersedia di depan mataku saat itu. Aku tidak sanggup lagi. Aku harus menghentikan semuanya ini, sesegera mungkin. Engkau hanya bisa menyakiti diriku. Engkau sudah tidak ada gunanya lagi. Mungkin lebih baik kurelakan kau untuk menjadi milik orang lain…

Dengan terseok-seok aku pulang ke rumah. Ketika kubuka pintu kamar, aku segera terduduk di pinggir ranjang dengan ringisan yang masih menghiasi wajahku. Inilah saatnya. Saat untuk melepaskanmu selama-lamanya. Aku tidak akan pernah bersamamu lagi!

Mungkin memang benar kata ibuku, bahwa engkau hanya manis untuk dipandang. Seharusnya aku mendengarkan nasihatnya dari dulu. Kuakui kebodohanku. Kulepaskan dirimu. Kusimpan engkau baik-baik di dalam kotakmu.

Goodbye my red stilettos…

Berjalan bersama dirimu memang menyenangkan, tapi aku tidak akan membiarkan kakiku menjadi seperti kaki Victoria Beckham pada akhirnya. Kaki yang dihiasi bunion yang sungguh terlihat tidak indah. Kenangan bersamamu begitu indah dan tidak akan kulupakan. Karena itu kutuangkan dirimu lewat untaian kata-kata di ceritaku ini…

Here "he" is...